Burnout Warning Signs High-Achievers Miss with Beverly Chimes

Hello my friends and welcome back to the podcast. Today I have a fabulous guest that I can't wait for you to meet my client, Beverly Chimes. We've been working together for many years, on and off, I think since 2020 and recently Bev had a personal experience as a life coach specifically in terms of burnout.

 and I think that especially in Israel, what we have all been experiencing over the last nearly two years, since October 7th, 2023, and as women in general, we carry our families, we carry our businesses, our careers, we carry so much our parents.

So many of my friends and neighbors, people my age are really living and experiencing the sandwich generation and that's stretching their capacity. And just in general, I think that there are a lot of expectations on us and a lot of places that we want to be and serve and give, and it can lead to burnout.

 And Beverly's going to share her personal experience with us today. Also give us tips about how to manage it better, how you can navigate it, those signs that you can recognize, so that you can keep carrying everything that you want and desire to carry and serve the people you wanna serve. And as well, notice what is not yours to hold at this time.

So welcome to the podcast, Beverly. Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. So tell us a little bit about your experience, because you've been in Wired for wealth now for about two and a half years, and I noticed about a year ago, more or less, that you became less present in our group coaching calls.

And you and I had even had a one-on-ones. Scheduled and you were putting it off another week. it was very clear that you were navigating something and sometimes as I said in the introduction, we are living the sandwich generation. It could be a family issue and you're not feeling at liberty.

You don't want to share that. And sometimes it's personal. And can you just share with our listeners what it was that you were experiencing and. How you really took it on yourself to navigate it at that time. Actually start with, before we jump into like right away, give us a little bit of background because I think that the whole world knows you, but maybe all of my audience doesn't know you.

So tell us who you are. Okay, I'm Beverly Chimes. I'm a life coach and social worker.

I work with women to overcome burnout and overwhelm and get themselves and their lives back. As a life coach, I'm so well versed on burnout. It's what I'm dealing with all the time. women are very busy. The demands are massive. if they're building a professional life, they're balancing so much and it takes a toll.

There's no ways we can fill 24 hours a day with activity. There's a multitude of layers of how this acts out for somebody. Like there's the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual. And it's like mind, body, soul. And I noticed last That I was so exhausted and I know so much about burnout.

Right. I should have all seen all the signs. And I did, and I try to, slow down a little bit. I was feeling exhausted. Every day felt like a chore. I had lost my excitement. anytime I got a message from someone requesting something of me, I just wanted to hide and run away, which is absolutely not who I am.

And there was a little voice telling me inside of me. You've gotta slow down. And there were two things happening. One, we had a family, And I was arranging the whole thing. And I was so happy to be doing it, like I was properly doing it with a full heart. But I kept thinking to myself, when this is over, I'll chill.

 the minute we're wishing something away, it raises flags. it's something beautiful. Why am I wishing it away? I was wishing it away. 'cause I was just so tired. I wanted to just go to bed. can I ask you a question on that? because thank God, I have five married children.

I have my eight children. We've done bar mitzvahs, bat mitzvahs for all of them. And there is the excitement and the joy of preparing the simcha. And it is a lot that we like squish into a very limited amount of time. So. There is a thought, I think it is okay, when I finish this, then I'm gonna go to the beach and I'm gonna relax.

Like when I finish this, like there is a natural, there's that adrenaline that you're just going, going, going, and if we even go into our bodies, there's your sympathetic nervous system, your parasympathetic nervous system. So if you're always in the sympathetic that go, like we do, our bodies do need to drop down into the parasympathetic and rest.

we need to recharge our batteries. But what was different? So the thought was different. You said, when I get over when this is done, I'll go to the beach. That's a very different thought to, I've just gotta get through this I hear, I've just gotta get through this, is, I've gotta push myself through this.

Like, there's no enjoyment here. there's no fun, there's no excitement. I've just gotta get through this. it is another chore to be achieved. It sounds almost to me, and you can, correct me if I'm wrong, like you were almost having like this out of body experience. I don't know if that makes sense, but you're kind of doing things, ticking off all the boxes to par.

It was a wedding, right? Your daughter got married? Is that No, it was actually a birthday party for a grandparent. Oh, that's also huge. So it wasn't such a big event that what was so astounding. It was a beautiful, small, intimate family, and it just became enormous in my mind. And it didn't need to be. It was how I processed it because I was so tired.

And I had so little resources available that everything felt so huge. I hear you. So you said in the beginning. Overwhelmed. And I think about overwhelm as sort of an umbrella emotion. And there are many more specific, more nuanced emotions under overwhelmed. 'cause we say, we just like throw it out as it's like, right.

I'm so overwhelmed. It's like everybody's overwhelmed. And then there's like. I have three things that I have to do. I have to pick up my kids and I have to take them to the dentist and I have to do the laundry. And for that, someone can say she's overwhelmed. But when we get a little bit more layered about what was happening, what was the specific, quote unquote overwhelm that was different with, I just have to be in three places at the same time and get dinner on the table.

 so I think it's the level of exhaustion. The level of exhaustion was so enormous that every step felt enormous. It felt like heavy. Everything felt so heavy. When you're overwhelmed, it's like, I'm gonna get through this. It feels frenetic. It doesn't feel that heavy, but then heavy burdened, hard action to take.

Yes. That to me is one of the biggest signs of like an impending burnout. I got it. It's like walking through treacle. Which overwhelm doesn't necessarily feel like. Right. I hear the differences. Like that frenetic, that like buzz, like I have to just keep going. Going. Exactly.

And this is more like you're walking around with a heavy weight around your ankle and you just can't go forward. Yes. Tremendously burdened. And does it show up that way for everybody or are there different signs of burnout for different people? For sure. There are different signs of burnout for different people, but I feel like that deep exhaustion 

Is pretty common. So when you were starting to feel this deep exhaustion, I like that. Instead of the overwhelm, when you started noticing, you weren't excited, you weren't, this beautiful occasion of a grandparent like I think my last grandparent passed away.

Nine, almost 10 years ago. So it's been a while since I've had a grandparent alive. Oh no, what am I saying? 20 years ago. It's been a long time. you and I aren't so different in age, so that's amazing. No, it just, it's a parent of ours. A grandparent. My parents. 

Alright, I got it. but whatever it is, it was a very big celebration for the family and you were not being excited about it and felt this exhaustion. When did you like that The penny dropped? Simon as we would say. But I knew I was tired. and I had this little voice saying to me, slow down, take a break.

 And it was summer, so I was on a lighter schedule. So I did try and take some small breaks, and I think this is the biggest piece for me. I didn't feel that I had the right, which is what does that even mean? To just shut everything down for two weeks. I was like, there's, I don't have young kids.

I don't need to take August off. But my body needed me to. I kept just overriding that real knowing inside of me of I need to shut everything down for two weeks. I was like, why? why do you think that happened? I justified it in terms of. Showing up for work, creating income, not having a real reason to take time off.

 those were my justifications, those were my thoughts. And so just keep going. And is that what happened, as you moved into September, you kept working with your clients? No, at the end of, by the end of August, my body shut me down. I was so sick by the end of August. you lost your voice, right?

 I actually developed a cough that made me throw up every time I coughed. I couldn't sleep lying down for eight weeks. I had a feeling of glass in my throat and I lost my voice, so there was like no way I could work. It's like you didn't take the hint. Yeah. And so God gave you a bang over the head.

Yeah. A huge bang over the head and my body was like, I'm out. Wow. Huh. And like a new part of your story, but I didn't know all of the details. Yeah. It was very painful and I kept going from doctor to doctor, begging them to find a solution to the pain. I literally sat up for eight weeks. I could not lie down at all.

Every time I lie down, I coughed and vomited. So I was obviously exhausted. I wasn't getting proper sleep. I mean, how well can you sleep? Sitting up? Not very well. I was plastered on my couch, I managed to, I think I canceled work for two or three weeks. Because I had no voice.

 I remember you asking me a few months before that what could come in the way of me working. And this was nothing I ever imagined, like losing my voice without a voice, I can't work right. And it was nothing I ever imagined. I imagined I could be busy with a family member. I imagined all different things, but being sick and losing my voice was not one of the scenarios that I ever could have imagined.

And it just stopped me in my tracks. So I'm just gonna ask a curious question. We're not gonna, turn the clock back a year and you were really burnt out. as you said, you were like plastered to the sofa, but, you and I have talked about you writing a book we don't have to talk about now, how far along you are.

Did you have the energy and the head space, the capacity to even, 'cause you don't need a voice to write a book, right? Is that something, or you were just like so flat out, there was nothing creative even coming into your brain space? I was in agony and I was so sick. every time I swallowed 

Was excruciatingly painful. Every time I coughed, I threw up. there was no capacity for anything. Other than getting through this coughing fit or trying to have a cup of tea and swallow until the next one. Until the next, That is very scary. there was no putting laundry in a, machine.

 If you're not doing your laundry, that's like every woman figures out what, she has a 40 degree fever. She figures how to get a load of laundry. We're not going down the river in our days. We just put it in the machine and press a button. 

 I thought it was gonna be two days and it was gonna be over, and it was so shocking to me that I just kept being sick. and the doctorsthey didn't give you a diagnosis. we all wanna find that diagnosis, right? Take the pill, find the treatment, and then, great.

We're off to the races. let's go. I was begging give me cortisone, gimme anything. Come on. You've gotta have a trick up your sleeve. there has to be something that is gonna make this go away and rest is the trick. And they were like, nah, you gotta rest. I think they, that's so hard.

A few doses of cortisone. I did have a couple antibiotics, I tried everything and eventually the doctor just said it's just gonna take time, which was not the answer I wanted. I wanted to click my fingers and it was over. I think for people We're active, we're go-getters, right? We want to accomplish things in this world.

Rest is the biggest challenge of all. Absolutely. Just lie down in your bed or sit up in your couch, whatever it is. But like not doing anything is such a huge, like barrier to overcome. Yes. Like how do you not do anything? Right? How do you not do anything when you're used to moving, doing, creating?

Making, connecting. How do you then just not, and humans are created to create anyway. that's what we do. We are creative beings. Yeah. And then what was your mind being like a real brat to you? Like telling, making you feel guilty for resting or telling you're doing it wrong?

you said like you just wanted a pill to get over it, snap your fingers, right? So what were the mind games that your brain was playing with you? The drama that was going on inside of me it's all over. I'm never gonna function again. I'm done. I'm never gonna get my voice back like real drama, which now I can smile at, but at the time,I didn't even have the wherewithal to argue with her.

 it's all over. I'm done. You are also guilting yourself. I should have known better. This is what I do. I coach people on this. How come I didn't stop? I'm such an idiot. Absolutely. I heard that inner voice. Why didn't I listen? I heard that inner voice. Why didn't I stop? So why didn't you?

That's, really good question because I couldn't find a reason to justify it. Oh. Is that because you think that women are like that? People are like that. You specifically were like that. and why do you even need a justification? Like your body is telling you flashing red lights, stop, 

 I know it's three o'clock in the morning, there's nobody on the road. You're just gonna like barrel through that red light. But why weren't you listening? really? So I think I'd been on this Wheel of business creating and business showing up that I didn't even have a paradigm for cut two weeks in stock.

 Which I know burnout you do. I know people you do. I know Healing And yet I got caught in this thing of there's no justification to stop. If I'm not working, I'm not getting paid. If I'm not showing up, I'm not serving my clients. So that overrode, just take a two week break, shut down for two weeks, nothing's gonna happen.

 and just heal and nurture and go to the beach. But I didn't even have a paradigm. For just going no, not now. I think that's a woman thing in general. Because we have the family that we're always taking care of. They said the laundry goes in when you have a fever. You like neither you nor I have little children at home anymore.

But that's how we raise our kids. there are very few times when we're so sick that we can't take care of our kids. We just keep going. And so those habits are very hard I'll just say rewire. I don't wanna say break, this is what I was doing. It served me when I was 20, when I was 30 and I was younger and my body, and we probably rested like differently 

And now you're like, no, I've always done it. I was exactly changing diapers, doing this and going shopping with my,strep throat and whatever. we just kept going. We kept going out of necessity and I think that became a habit. we don't realize a habit until it no longer works for us, and then we analyze it.

But we've got a modus operandi where we just do things in this way. Yes. So I look at it as a V and I look at it sometimes with like money disorders and disordered, relationship with money. If you look at it as a V we go down to the bottom of the V, we hit rock bottom and only from the rock bottom can we start climbing up.

 And that's exactly what happened. But if you notice the signposts along the way, you can take it. You don't detour. Yout have to go all the way to the bottom. You can make it a U. Exactly. Cut across to the other side and go up. Exactly. You don't have to go all the way to the crash, but somehow we do.

Well, I guess that's part of the work that I do is the education that we don't have to, that if we tune into that little voice inside of us, that is so wise. And know us from such a kind deep place. If we listen to that voice and we don't just override it, that voice is gonna give us real warning signs in good time.

So for the person, and I'm sure that. Probably every single person who's listening to this interview has been close. Maybe somebody actually stopped, they went away to the beach for a week or two weeks or whatever. but some people at different times in their life are on that sort of downward spiral.

So when they hear those voices, when they feel the signs, when they notice that their body is just so tight, it's like quicksand. They're walking, it's slow, and there's no joy anymore. What do you recommend that people do? And there's probably the first awareness and then there's the actual practical steps that people take.

 People have obligations, so it's not like they can just say you know what? I'm out for a month, I'll be back. So we have to look at within their life, what can they do? And it's about adding small practices. And big practices that are going to help rejuvenate and look after your wellbeing.

Can you give us an example? one of your clients? No names, so I'm gonna give you an example of myself. I noticed when I got better, there was a frenetic piece to whatever I was doing, no matter what the activity was. I had a stress and pressure basis that I then did that activity on top of.

 Now that activity could have gotten done with any,kind of emotional environment. But I was using pressure as my like catalyst for that action. But sometimes pressure is good. if we have a deadline in school, you have to take a test on a certain day, turn in a report, and then we get the adrenaline go, 

Somehow. We always manage to slip it in a minute before the deadline, or 10 minutes after the deadline in my case. But, it always gets done because we have a deadline. But you cannot live your life as if you're on a deadline because that is turning a sprint into a marathon. You can't sprint a marathon.

It's not how runners You don't have that capacity in your body, To sprint a marathon. Correct. A marathon takes pacing. Our lives take pacing. If we are trying to live our whole life, if we're on a sprint if's too much. It is requiring too much of ourselves for too long a period. that you feel you're always breathless, sprinting, running from thing to thing.

That's sign number one, that something needs to change. Yes. So what I would do with that is I would check in with myself, how am I doing this activity? Oh, I'm like, fast. I'm pressured, I'm stressed. I don't need to be doing that. I can get the same results. I might even get a more creative process.

 I just breathe. Drop my shoulders and give myself permission to get the work done with a different attitude, with a breath, with calm, with a glass of water. Take a drink, take a moment This idea of oh, I can't do that. I'm not gonna produce the goods But you are gonna produce the goods.

Yes, with a calm, without the stress, with a presence that's actually greater and gonna produce more than that negative stress act Atmosphere that's created. So you're a social worker, you are a life coach. You have done trainings in journey. You have a very broad skillset and you notice.

These things about you and your body. And now that you know that you ignore the signs and now you can bring them into your life. But when you're working with your clients and you're telling them have a drink of water. Take a breath. How long does it take somebody who isn't even used to thinking that I need to slow down a little bit?

Notice this, frenetic this energy in my body. if you're working with your clients, how long does it take someone who is not exposed to this kind of work to start noticing their patterns and shifting them? Obviously, it's individual dependent. There are some people who are more connected to their bodies than others, but let's take someone who's not connected at all.

 I might start with them by just asking them to do one minute of breathing a day. Because they've never done this intentionally before. So to ask them to do an analysis of something, they don't even know what I'm talking about. They have to start even smaller. I say, if you could do one minute of breathing a day, and I give them different options of breathing and they choose the one that they like.

 Just one minute of breathing and see what happens. Or just drinking one glass of cold water. Without your phone or any electronics anywhere nearby, you staring out into the distance, maybe looking at a bird on a tree, and it's a new experience for them, and it opens the beginnings of a new awareness.

 I think it's the intentionality behind the act because I can be drinking a coffee, I can be sitting in my garden, I can be looking at, the beautiful greenery around me, but I think it's that I'm doing this because my life coach told me to do it. No, but there's, yes, 

Right, but I'm making time for this mindset, right? It's a mindset shift. It's not something, 'cause I do, today I actually drank my coffee while I was doing the laundry. not about all of this stuff. I know, but I'm as susceptible as you are because knowing is different than, I think there's a deeper level of comprehension.

There's knowing, we know so much, like we live in an information age where we know like everything, and if we don't know it, it's not even googling it away, it's chat p teeing it away. Like we can get answers to everything we have. All the answers probably we will ever need in our lifetime. But the implementation, and the intentionality.

 I've tried to meditate. I haven't really tried. like I've sat in my bed and breathed for one morning I'm gonna try to do this for two minutes. And then the next morning it wasn't like my life coach told me to do it.

 and I think that's actually a very important point. We know what to do, but it's when we have the accountability From somebody outside of us who's saying, do this. And it's not like your clients are like little kids with like star charts that they have to tick off and maybe you give them habit trackers and that's not, that's a good thing.

 we are all little kids at. We like to see that we filled in our little tables with our gold stars, and at the end of the week we get one on our forehead. But no, when you go and work with a coach, that person is there for you and you are there for you, and there's just a different experience when you're saying, I'm taking this time out, I'm working with my coach.

You can even tell all your family, not now. I'm breathing for a minute. My coach told me to do it, but there's exactly something, different switch in your brain. It flips on when you've put yourself first and you're continuing to do it because it's part of a healing process that you have opted into.

Exactly, It's the opt in and it's the intentionality. did you work with anybody when you noticed that you hit burnout or you were like, oh no, I'm self-aware. I actually can do this by myself. so there were a number of things I did. a lot of them were by myself.

And then I got the resources in when I wanted. When I felt that I needed something, I felt that I had a few unresolved things that I wanted to sort out. So I went back to my, emotional coach and did some work with her. And, I was very careful. I think this is the next piece. I took this as an opportunity to rebuild my life.

 if I was starting from scratch, which I was, What would I choose to put in my life and what's here by habit that. I want that I don't actually want, so I'll give you one example. I had been going to a certain exercise class for about two years. It's good for you.

It's important. I did enjoy it and I noticed myself when I went back, I noticed myself watching the clock, the whole class. you know what? I don't wanna be doing this exercise anymore. Yes, it's important for me. it's good for my body, but I'm not enjoying it anymore. So I said to the teacher, I really enjoy you and I enjoy your studio, and I'm stopping.

And I wasn't quite sure what I was gonna do next, but I knew I needed to stop that. So many times we'll only stop something when we have something in place of the next thing. So the thing that I realized is stop what's not working. Even if you don't have the next plan, 

 get rid of the bad. And then also when you've opened up that space, something, this is one of Newton's laws of physics, I think, right? When you have an a vacuum. So something will, yeah. Nature pours a vacuum, something will fill it. But you've given yourself the space and did something show up?

Do you have another exercise routine? Yes. Great. I found this amazing gym and I've gone to do boxing and I am. Loving it. That's great. And I'm so inspired and so energized by it. And I had to build up slowly 'cause like it's a lot of activity, uhhuh and it's so much fun. And I went from watching the clock, the whole lesson for something that was so called good for me to like looking forward, jumping out of bed, running over to the gym.

That's a whole different experience. It is nice. I like that. So I kept looking at my life and going, okay, when I look in two years time Will I be happy with the decisions I've made today? Great. And so I kept looking at my life through that lens going, if I was creating this from the beginning 

What would I include and what would I cut out? It's a little bit like, I had a couple weeks ago, I had my daughter on the podcast and she's a personal organizer. It's like going through your closet. Like in two years from now, do I still wanna be wearing this Like in two weeks from now it's been sitting in my closet for 20 years, do I really still want it?

So you get rid of a lot of old clothes that you're like, I am not gonna wear that, and if I do want something, I'll just go to the store and buy it. So I was doing decluttering of my life. That's great. And I think we don't take the time to do that. And Some things that served us when we were 30 or 40 or 50, 

They don't serve us anymore at this stage of life. I love your example of the gym you were going to. Perfect. So we've got certain obligations that we have no choice in deciding whether they're in our lives or not. Correct. Got a lot of those. And we probably don't. We, wouldn't want it any other way.

 So then we have to find the areas of our life where we do have choice. And come back into making choices. Stop doing everything on default. And take the section of our lives that's not changeable and negotiable and okay, that's what it is. We accept that and focus on what is changeable and what is, adjustable.

And what did you change in your business because you took eight weeks off and then you came back a little bit at a time. what did you look at that you said, you know what, this was great for an earlier version of me, a past version of me, and now I'm going forward and I want to pivot my business and do it a different way.

Such a good question. I don't think I have an off the cuff answer. We're gonna work on that. what about that book? Are you writing the book? it's a guilt free question. there had been a time where you had wanted to, is that something that is still all your heart?

 I'm adding more chapter headings. good. And then each time I add a chapter heading, I write a little blurb up about what I want included in that chapter. So I think I'm on 14 chapters now. Okay. Very nice. So that's gonna come eventually. So I think one of the things that did change is that it took a long time to get there  in terms of coming back to myself.

I would wonder am I ready to write? Am I ready to. do more marketing, and often the answer was no. So I took a really long time to come back to it way longer than I thought it would, but I decided to be super respectful of myself and just go with what, where, with where I was at. from a business development point of view, it's probably not such a great idea, but from a personal health point of view.

It's the way that I needed to go and the way I went. So it took a really long time to come back. But when I came back and I came back slowly a few months ago, I suddenly was super inspired to do a whole new thing and to reword how I'm talking about my business. And it probably took me.

I don't, wanna say six to eight months from the burnout to get to that point. Very nice. And now, would you say there's that, sort of cliche, have you gone from surviving to thriving? Like you do feel like now you're thriving a year later since the burnout? Or do you still feel like you are, you're still healing?

Oh no, I'm back and I'm better and I'm excited and I'm energized and. I'm just here to serve more and to do more and to speak in a much more bold way. Because I think the experience of burnout was so shocking to me that it's not something we can talk about in like sweet little terms.

It's massive. It is life altering. It is life Stopping. Burnout is like the bottom. And I wanna help as many women as possible stop getting to that point. I wanna help them prevent that real rock bottom. And there's so much beautiful to enjoy in life with intentionality.

And one of the biggest things to stop burnout is creating joy on purpose, which is what is that? what is that is choosing things you really love and making sure to put them in your life? like going in, learning, diving, going and, doing an art or craft hook.

Learning sewing, I have so many of my clients, what do you feel doing that you've not ever done before? Or that you used to do so long ago and you put it on the back burner because there was no time and space for it in your life, like what thing would you look forward to doing the whole week until it's the time for it and then just love every second of it.

And do they give themselves permission to do that? Yes. Okay. Yes. Nice. Yes, they do. Because I almost feel you are giving women, you work only with women, if I'm not mistaken. Correct. So if I think about a couple in a relationship, there's that date night. because we're so busy and you and I have both, transitioned into more or less the emptiness.

Yes. Our kids come back, but they're mostly not here. And my relationship with my husband, switched, even as we noticed our kids were, getting older and we weren't just in the, raising the young kids, but we had more space and we had to redefine our relationship date nights.

Or we go on date hikes, we go hiking and spending time and that's developing your relationship with your partner. But what it sounds you are suggesting is helping women develop relationships with themselves, like loving themselves enough to carve out an hour or two hours every week. first of all, to see you, but also to do that sewing class that they want to, or doing an improv class or doing something that is going to light them up and fill them up, and that will give them the energy that they need to keep doing the other things.

 it's a process of giving themselves permission to be more than they've allowed themselves to be until now. Yeah, that's hard. 'cause we have to be willing to take up space and say that yes, it's me and I'm worth it. Yes. in my role as coach, mother, wife, daughter, friend, colleague, am I willing to actually have an additional role called me?

 like my fun. is someone willing to make space for that? And it's incredible because the space isn't so big, but the payback is enormous. I actually started going to a Mosaics class. Nice. And I can enjoy designing stuff all week for that hour and a half class. And I find myself distracted by it, 

So happily if let's go back to the laundry. If I'm doing laundry, I'll imagine what color I wanna put in on the thing with the next to the other thing, and it's just this happy distraction. I'm not on my phone, I'm not on social media. I'm not mooching. I'm designing, I'm creating, I'm imagining, and the payback is enormous.

 I love that and I think that women. Maybe this is a shift in the generations a little bit, right? Because there were times when we talk about that creativity that women would sit together in quilting circles. Exactly. We would do creative, arts and crafts, craft work. We would do it even together and we would just like talk about our kids and probably talk about our partners and talk about the world and politics and who knows what women talk.

About, but we had time out. Yes, the quilt was going to be on your bed and yes, it was going to warm you in the winter, et cetera, but there was that outlet. Today, somehow we're so productive 'cause we have washing machines and dishwashers and cell phones, so we could get things done really quickly that we don't have that time to be those creative beings.

We really are wired to be. So, I just love what you're saying and that, and you're creative all week long, and I'm sure that infuses, the work that you're doing with your clients, that your brain has just been involved with other things and that gives you so much, depth and richness that you bring to your coaching sessions.

Definitely, I think that creativity also allows a sharpness, oh, tell me more about that. So I think when, firstly I'll just say if I think of the activities that my clients have gone out to do There's such a huge range. There's pottery, painting, knitting, quilting, swimming, silversmithing, like these are the things that these women have allowed themselves to go out to do.

 And the results from them are just a more excited person. So back to what you said now, does the creativity, I think gives a clarity of mind, a clarity of thinking, and then it produces a sharpness. That break, that creativity. it stops the humdrum kind of.

Everyday life stuff. it breaks it. And then from that there just comes a clarity of thinking. So what you're basically saying is. Ladies, fill yourselves up, go do something fun, and you're gonna be even better than you were before. It's not like you're taking away from all the things, but you're actually, you're helping yourself to be a better you in all the other ways.

Yes. that sounds maybe a very cliche way to say it, but, so before we wrap up this interview, I want you to, if you can give us three of your most important, tips awarenesses, like what people in general women, men should be. Looking at noticing and doing in their lives, in their businesses.

'cause I know you work with women in corporate jobs, women who are running their own business, government, like you work with women who are go-getters. Oh, absolutely. They have a lot of things that they wanna achieve in this life, and they're. Not going to like rest easy until they do it. So although I'm thinking of what it says in right, it's not for you to finish the job, but it's you to do it.

And we think we have to do it. We have to do it all and we have to do it like in the next six minutes. But give us three of your most important tips that people can use to notice. Especially as I said in the very beginning, we've. Been at war for two years and that's been a huge stress. It's old time.

 You and I have both talked about being on call for families with husbands and whatever is, we're carrying a big burden. So what do you think our listeners should walk away with today? Okay, it's a couple points. There's so much more, but these are just a few that I'm gonna say.

 I need you to get clients, they're gonna come to you for the next step. If the first thing you can do is say at a specific time when you're getting in your car. Okay, notice how much pressure you're under. And see if at that moment when you start your car, you could just go, okay, I can do this in the same way and differently.

I can still go where I need to go, but I can drop my shoulders. And I don't have to be under this huge pressure. If this takes me five minutes more to get to where I need to go, that's gonna be okay. that's part of time management. But yeah, it can be, I think we'll have a lot less road rage if every single person in the I also did it.

Yes. So I'm giving the anchor of getting in a car, just because if I said as a general advice piece, when someone gonna do it, they're not. So that's my suggestion is link it to something. Link it to some action that you take on a regular basis. Makes sense. So that you can at that moment go what, 

How stressed am I? How pressured am I? Oh very. Do I need to be, no, I could just drive to this place where I have to go. Just driving. And I think let, if someone's on a taxi or even taking a bus. When I worked at the Bank of Israel, I used to take a bus from Beit Shemesh to Jerusalem. First of all, I thought that saved me, like totally saved me.

As a mom with a large family. 'cause I sat on the bus. My only, it was in my last couple of years, there was there such a thing as cell phones and everybody was on their cell phones. In the beginning, the buses were quiet. that's huge. But don't take out your phone if you're on the bus or in a taxi.

 I would just breathe. and I knew my roots and my body knew the route that I was on at a certain place. I was like, you can look outside. You can like, just like space out. And then I said, when you get to this. Intersection. That's when you close your eyes and go to sleep. Yes. And I really think that saved me as a working mom.

 if you get in a taxi, you might not have your own car or whatever, like breathe, say hello to the taxi driver, do something, but don't pull out your phone and just like notice how you're feeling. And I think that is such useful information. Definitely. another one is pacing. Okay. If you're always on the go.

You're sprinting a marathon, right? So there needs to be little blocks of time in the day in which you stop. It might be a coffee, it might be a glass of water. It might be a 10 minute walk around the block. Okay. But two or three of those tiny pockets of time during the day is going to lower your stress and it's.

Going to be rejuvenating and realigning. It's like, eat your lunch, not at your desk and not with your phone. Exactly. And chew your food and taste it. Exactly. Yeah. Right. Like that's also, go get a coffee so much. maybe if you're in an office, connect with another person. If you're not in an office, there's so many people working remote.

Don't have your coffee in front of your screen. Such good advice. And if I say to someone, get off your phone, then they just get on their laptop. And if they get off their laptop and they just go on their tablet, no. Take a moment. Take an intentional moment a few times during the day to wake up and smell the coffee.

Huh? Yes. Smell your coffee, drink your water. Just look outside. So good. So it's the pacing. Okay. And then. Where can you give yourself permission for downtime? and what would that downtime look like? Does that mean you're someone who wants to have an app for 20 minutes in the afternoon? I love that.

That's my thing. I love that. Yeah, I love that. And like in the middle of my work time, I have a gap between clients. I'm like, yeah, I'm hitting the couch. Yes. And I go and I have my 20 minute nap. And I just know that I'm so much better at the next session than I would've been if I didn't have that nap.

And I love that nap. That's great. So where can you give yourself the breaks? Okay. And the last piece is really where can you bring in more joy? 'cause there's the resting, like there's the exclusion of activity. And then there's the inclusion of different activity. And I have to say really, that expression Yolo, you only live once?

Like, it's true. I mean, I don't know. It might come back. My, neshama, my soul might come back in another giggle, but I'm not gonna know about it. But you're not gonna be Debbie Sassen in this place. Exactly. But really, you like the things that we remember at the end of our life or the experiences we've had, the joy we've had, the time we know we're not gonna remember.

Oh, I didn't get that. Podcast episode recorded. I hope I'm not How many loads of laundry you did or didn't? Yeah, exactly. But the time that you spent, out in nature, the experiences, the time you spent with your family, the joy and that's what people do regret at the end of their life.

I don't wanna get more bit at the end of this, but, really, I think that gives us opportunity Yeah. To know that's a possibility isn't a getting morbid. Right? It's okay. So what do I wanna do with being here? Yeah, we don't wanna get, to hundred 20 be like, how I wanna do this.

 I forgot to add all of this joy into my life. So that's a really great way to, to sum this up. All right, Beverly, it's been such a pleasure having you on the podcast. I'm gonna leave all of your contact details below. You are an amazing life coach. I've actually worked on a deep healing session with Beverly a number of years ago because I had some work that I, wanted to heal and work through, so I highly recommend her and.

If you are working over time and you notice that you are feeling exhausted, you're no longer full of joy in life about what's going on, and you need someone who understands exactly, like really on a cellular level what you've been going through. I really encourage you to reach out to Beverly and get the healing and the joy back in your life that you need.

Thank you so much for tuning in, and I will see you next week on the podcast.