Pricing Your Worth & Building with Faith with Chaya Garcia

You are listening to the Jewish Entrepreneur Podcast with Debbie Sassen, episode number 185.

And so I'm so excited to have with us today Chaya Garcia. She is an epic love coach and we are gonna have a fantastic conversation on.

What it takes to build a business as a mom, as a mompreneur, trusting your intuition on the right time to put press pause on your business. And that's exactly what Hay did. She'll tell us her story about pausing while she was raising her two young kids. They're still young, but now they're in school. And we are also going to talk about believing that you're worthy of receiving clients money.

Love, relationships, relationships with God, which is such a perfect conversation. Right now. We're recording this in Elul right before Rosh Hashanah. This is the time of an Do Lee building that relationship with our beloved. So welcome to the podcast Haya. Thank you so much, Debbie, for having me here. It is such an honor and a pleasure to be a part of your podcast and help your audience connect with themselves, with God, and to make a lot of money to heal the world.

Yeah. Let's do it. So why don't you introduce yourself. I gave you obviously a very fasten, a very fantastic, welcome. But share with our listeners today exactly who you are, who you coach, and how you got to the business. Epic love coach like. That is an epic title. I've never called myself an epic business coach, so let's talk about it.

Yeah, so thank you so much. My name is Chaya Garcia. I go by the Epic Love expert, and just to start off early, if you need help in your relationships, you can find me on Instagram at Epic Love Expert. And what I do is I really help women understand how to get a roadmap. Back to themselves because so often as we age, we get into distractions of who am I like beyond being a mom, beyond taking care of the house, beyond cooking beyond the husband, beyond the mon, beyond the money.

Who am I? Like, what are my dreams? What are my passions? What's my divine downloads like, what does God want me to do while I'm here on earth? And I love that we're in Elul because Ani L’dodi, v’Dodi L is all about. Loving Hashem and knowing that Hashem loves us without needing to be amazing. Like he's not, like, you have to be worthy of coming into my castle, and then maybe we can have a meeting.

He's like, I'm with you in the park, in the field like I am. Where you're at. Yes. So you're worthy of only good. That is fantastic. And how did you come to this kind of work? Like I know you used to live in Israel, now you live in Atlanta, if I'm not mistaken. Right. And you were, what kind of coaching or expert were you?

I know you've evolved. We all evolve as we grow and do our work, but when you were living in Israel, what were you doing specifically while you were here? I'm a relationship expert, so I basically help women learn who they are, what they want, how to have relationships that are from, eh. To Epic and there really are formulas.

There really are behaviors, and there really are skill sets on how to love yourself, as well as how to see unhealthy signs in the beginning of relationships to never get hurt, abandoned, and choose the wrong partner. So I primarily work with single successful women to help them attract the right relationship.

But when you say relationship expert, that almost sounds like broader than creating a partnership, creating a marriage, is there something else that you do besides that? And when you even said before, roadmap back to themselves. So tell, let's go a little deeper on that. So basically everyone needs healing.

We're here to heal. Okay. And a lot of us have false and limiting beliefs. That if we have had something bad done to us Or a bad childhood, or we've done things that aren't good, that we are somehow less worthy. That we are somehow less deserving, that we are somehow less good. So I do work primarily with women to help them get the right relationship, let's say in marriage, like let's say dating.

Okay? But the truth is we're always in relationships. And if you don't know how to love yourself and how to see unhealthy behavior, like how do you see addiction? On the first date, how do you see active narcissism on the first date and the issue with it? I know this is a money podcast and we'll stick there, but most people that you go to don't have the education of what addiction and codependency and narcissism looks like.

So very often the wrong advice is given from a good intention. Like to just keep going. Maybe it was the person was nervous, maybe something like that. and then what happens, people end up getting sucked into, or they don't trust their intuition. So I'm, I don't wanna necessarily put the onus on somebody unnecessarily, but what, but they're just not trusting themselves because outsiders are sort of whitewashing or dismissing what they're, experiencing, what they're feeling.

Yeah, essentially, women often get disconnected and I'm sure you see with some of your clients as well. There's just a disconnect of. Them choosing themselves, like what we were talking about earlier before the recording, when to invest, not to just waste your money. What's the right decision? When to pause.

And most times, and of course we're both coaches, we believe people should have coaches. Yeah. But most of the time women are so disconnected. From being the boss in their own life, a leader in their own love, the queen of their own castle. That there's so much self-doubt that they are living in a fear and a disconnection of their worthiness.

And therefore, seek out so much help, but usually from so many different sources that it blocks the right path. Like they're missing their divine downloads, they're missing their intuition. And just one really important thing to add to that is that there are two components, intuition and education.

There are some very intuitive women who, once I gave them basic education on what addiction, codependency, narcissism, looks like on the first date, were able to see it super fast. Okay, so there's two different components. Well, I think all each of us has a makeup and some people are just going to be more intuitive.

That's their nature. And some people will be maybe more. Analytical trust. They're really good with the analytical part. And they're less intuitive. I mean, it's not necessarily a black and white world, but that might be the way, you know, it kind of spreads out. But I wanna go back to what you said about,

the relationships and the relationship with self, 'cause that, again, we brought in el and even like, right, like the way, like love your neighbor as yourself, like loving yourself first. Right? And understanding, having that relationship, yes, with yourself. But why are women? Because you sort of almost said it was like in a blanket statement.

Why do we have that? Challenge to trust yourselves in, whether it's a relationship building, a business, doing something like is it nature versus nurture? Is it, we've been, you know, just told by people, parents, school, teachers? I don't know, like, no, How, how does it even happen? I think. It happens primarily in school systems.

As well as in homes. So the school systems were created by Rockefeller to be very militaristic and kind of diminish a person's autonomy. Like it was when there was a school that was developed, there weren't always schools like we have now, even in the Jewish. From world. It was designed to diminish someone's autonomy, so you have to raise your hand just to go pee.

You have to sit down and shut up until it's your turn. You have to have lots of levels of respect where you can't really be yourself. If it goes out of line, it's very militaristic, and then in honed. Women and men don't often feel secure enough with pain. So when pain shows up in their home, let's say between spouses with the kids, the kid is yelling, they don't know how to hold space for the child.

They're like, stop crying. Not a big deal. You'll, I'll give you the candy and there's so much dismissal. Of the self and of natural healthy expression, especially pain and negative emotion, which is a normal part of being a human. Yeah. That we've been trained to just shush our inner voice because it's not really given a space to be heard and held.

Hmm. It's very interesting when you talk about the militaristic school system because. That discipline is also so necessary. Like there has to be the right boundaries. Like we can't be all robots. Military, and whatever. Too much self-expression, too much being, you know, loose, not having guardrails.

I mean, we live, both of us live a Torah life. We have rules, we have mitzvahs, we have guardrails, we have the things we do, we have the things we don't do. And that's supposed to help us create the best relationship with God. The best relationship with ourselves. So it's not just do whatever you wanna do, right.

there has to be that balance of do it like this, be very disciplined, get up in the morning, you daven Shacharit, you do this, you do that, you wash, you say your brachot, you say you're over your food, right? there is a system, but then there has to be the flexibility with within the system and maybe in the educational system because there's so many kids in one classroom.

Certainly here in Israel. Right. Just more, it seems like more discipline, more military. Military is the way to try to keep, you know, 35, 40 kids in order. Yeah. I mean, one is, there's a difference between structure and boundary and, unhealthy discipline. And also even in all of the beautiful laws that we have, there's, I like how many women.

You know, lost their minds from children. And according to the Torah, you cannot take birth control. And every other woman that I know is on an IUD. So it's like, yeah, there is laws and a hundred percent were meant to keep them. And the Torah is the most beautiful blueprint for true connection. And finding calm in the chaotic world.

However, there is a component of that. You're supposed to serve God with joy, which means the only way you can truly have joy is when you are in so much pain and someone doesn't. Diminish it and in school you don't have the space to have a hard day. You don't have the space to take a nap. You don't have the space to be outta line.

You don't have the space to be different, and it's very detrimental. I mean, obviously I'm not a huge supporter of the current school systems. I hear that I'm actually one of those kids who thrived in school and thrived with the rules and thrived with discipline. But you know, I have kids who thrived less and, definitely siblings who thrived less with those rules.

But I'm definitely one of those people who did really well with the rules. I love school. Me. I loved too. I taught Me too. I was a straight A student. My daughter comes home thrilled with her new school folders, So it works for some people, but there's other skill sets that are more important.

And the biggest issue. 'cause I was in academia for a long time. I did eight years after high school. Okay. Is your worth is wrongfully connected to singular outcomes. It is the most dangerous thing that we can do to a person, in my opinion. Mm-hmm. And that is what school teaches you. I was an addict of external approval by the time I was 26 with my master's because I was taught over and over again that my worth is associated with how well I did.

Yes. And if it's, dangerous man. It doesn't help you take risks. Right. And so let's just bring that same discussion to building a business. Are you only worthy when you've made the first million dollars in one year?

Like, how big do you have to get? Because the playing field is very big and. Most of us in this world, probably none of us that are listening to this podcast, are ever going to match Elon Musk's wealth or Jeff Bezos or, multi-billionaires out there. Like, so what are we playing for?

What are the stakes? how much do we need to make in our businesses to feel worthy? Yeah, I mean I think it's about also what you wanna create. It's, you know, Alex Hermo just made $105 million in one weekend. Right. I'm just gonna say it again 'cause it's so cool. Alex, say it again. I love it. And Layla, his wife, and I'm pretty sure they're both Jewish.

I mean, I know Alex for sure is Jewish. Me Canadian. He's, yeah, I'm pretty sure we don't have to be. don't have to go into that. but I don't think he is actually. But anyway, I'm pretty sure he was even grown up in like a modern Orthodox home.

Anyways, we'll look it up later. Irrelevant from that. he basically made a hundred, they did make $105 million in a weekend, right? They did. And then he kept going. He just, the next day he had implementations. 'cause if you bought his $6,000 like upsell, which we did, then he had implementations. He didn't stop.

He kept on going. And another person, if you're in this entrepreneurial world, is Henry, what's his first name? I'm blanking. Whatever. Some guy, I didn't even know that one. Oh, okay. Oh, my husband loves him and I know his name, but I'm blanking on his first name, Henry. It's okay. Oh, whatever. I'm not. he basically made, did a webinar, made a lot of money, and then it was like, eh, I'm gonna take a break and have a great weekend with my wife and kid and just not work anymore.

So there is different levels of what you're trying to create in the world. Alex is trying to do something revolutionary and. Henry, oh my gosh. And Henry is trying to just make a lot of money and enjoy his life. And there's nothing wrong with both of those. One is having a great life as a provider and just freedom and luxury.

And one is a revolutionary changing the world, breaking world record. They have different visions of what they wanna do in this world, and both are great and both are meaningful. So I think the most important thing to ask yourself is what am I trying to create? Is it just financial freedom so I can relax and be present with my spouse?

Mm-hmm. Or do I have like a big world vision that I'm trying to change something massive and both are great, but I think the more you get clear on what your purpose is, again, you can reverse engineer how much you're gonna need to make to fulfill your dreams and do God's will. I think what you're saying here, this goes back to tuning into your own inner voice, trusting your own in intuition, because if your goal, as you said, is financial freedom and depending on where you choose to live, how many kids you have, et cetera.

You don't need to make more than, I don't know, a hundred, $200,000 a year, like you can stop. That'll make you enough to have a decent living in, maybe not in the tri-state area as a Jewish family with a lot of kids who's sending to Jewish day schools, but in other parts of the country, you can, you'll have enough money to fund your retirement account like you will be good, but other people might have a goal of making a bigger impact in the world.

Right? Like you said, Alex and Layla, they want to really. Reach so many entrepreneurs and help people grow and really help people build big businesses, if that's what they're choosing. I love that you're saying that and, but when a woman trusts her intuition says, no, this is what I wanna build, and I'm good with that.

But let's just talk about. Charging money. 'cause if we're having this worthiness conversation and you're a coach. I'm a coach. And so many people in the coaching and healing space have this huge desire to give. We're givers and all people are givers. But so many coaches are women, as I love to say. Women have a, womb, and that comes from the word hamme, right there we are.

Kind. We're beneficent, we're givers, and that's part of our genetic makeup. And so many, like coaches just want to give and give. And they're not asking for equal remuneration for all that they give, all that they pour into their clients, all the stuff that they do into the, world. So I would love to hear your view on that.

It comes to worth. And I'm glad that hopefully you'll pitch your worthy thing. 'cause it really comes from a place of worth of just valuing your time here differently. And a lot of people, when they're not, used to the entrepreneurial space, they go by hours instead. Like, they go by cost instead of worth, they go by hours instead of value.

And so that's just something listeners, I'm gonna say that again 'cause it's so important as an entrepreneur. You do not wanna go by hours. You wanna go by value. Yes. your pricing. And you don't wanna go by cost. You want to go by worth. So I charge a lot of money from my courses, right? But I help women never get divorced and I'm pretty confident in that.

And poo poo, god should always protect me, giving the right skills to the women. But the women I work with are so educated with how to love themselves and unhealthy signs. That when they get married, they stay married, and it's a healthy, extraordinary marriage. And it takes time for a different woman how much work she has to do and how much work she'll put in to the course.

And in her private life, that is the most important work. but I'm not charging. Per hour or per mastermind, the amount of value that you get when you love yourself, when you enjoy life, when you're forgiving to yourself, when you have grace, when you learn how to build relationships without anger and resentment, I am saving them thousands and thousands of dollars of medical bills that come from stress.

Yes. And disease that stems from anger and resentment. I'm saving them thousands of dollars of divorce lawyers. I'm saving them Invaluable amounts of pain from custody battles. Like there's no, oh, your mastermind cost X. It's like, do the worth that you're providing based on what God puts you here is so much larger.

Than the hour or the skillset or the course. Yes. So for all of your listeners to reframe themselves of really being valued in transformation, not in. duration and there really isn't any value that you can put on that. Like you can throw in like how much they're saving in medical bills.

You can talk about, well, if you were gonna get divorced, right? You know, God forbid, right? You know, the right thing, wrong thing, whatever. Like, you know, you're saving all the divorce bills, but. It is hard when you think about today they're working with you in your mastermind and you're gonna work with them.

You're not gonna work with them. They're gonna take the skills of what they learned for the next 20, 40, 60, like 80 years of their life. There's no way that you can have like. A price tag on that. You know, if I look at it just financially, the future value of all of the worthiness that they believe in, the self-love, there just is no price on that.

so the work you're doing is beautiful. Is that part of how you decided to take off time when you had your kids, like, you're like, I'm worth it. Like what went into that decision making? Because. So many women, their family has a financial need. And if they're running a business, and you know, many of my listeners, their husband might be in ELL or he's doing something else, or the family might need two incomes.

How did you decide, I'm going to press pause for like five, six years. How many years were you out of the, workforce? Was it about that. So you decided to press pause on your business and how did you make that decision? And you and your husband come together and said, yeah, we're gonna just like figure out how to float our family while you're spending time with the kids.

Like, not that you don't spend time with them now. So the truth is, I'm a bit of anomaly in that respect, but I encourage everyone to do this. Design your life like, yes, I'm a relationship coach. Yes, I'm a relationship expert, but I really, if there was a term for it, I'd call myself a love life designer.

Because most people don't design their life. They are reactive, they're hopeful, they're optimistic. They go outside of themselves for advice before inside and to God, and so they don't really know if it's even the right advice. Because they haven't designed their life to see if it fits what they want, who they are, what their values and visions are.

So if you have a value and a vision of creating a multimillion dollar business, you can have the best, most holiest neighbor. But if they've only made like 70 KA year, sweetest heart, probably the wrong advice. Why They just don't have the skillset. And so a lot of times people, again, sweet. Advice, sweet intentions, wrong advice because, and the people who go to them, the women who go to them, don't have their designed life planned out or thought about to see if the advice resonates.

Right. Like we all have an intuition. We all have Hashem inside of us. We're all created. But so like we have a part of Hashem that truth when it's right for Anma and our purpose resonates. But if you don't know, you haven't taken any time, you can't hear yourself enough and it can get very confusing.

So an answer to your question, I designed my life. Way in advance. So I was an extraordinarily, picky dater. I only would date certain type of men. I would not date any man who did not have a job that can completely support me during postpartum. I did not want. To send my kids six weeks or eight weeks or whatever to daycare.

It was not something I was willing to accept. I'm a big believer and there's lots of other people who support this in having a list and in having non-negotiables. And so I made sure when I dated to date someone who can only financially provide for me when I was not working with my babies.

Because if my whole thing is to create healthy homes and healthy love. Then working and neglecting my children was so against my vision and nature and purpose. So I intentionally planned way before I even got married that when I do get pregnant, I'm gonna start taking time off. And when my youngest baby is three, I will restart my company.

And that's what I did. Okay. I love how intentional you were and if I think back, I'm like.

Marriage younger. Now. I didn't, I got married at 26 and a half I love it. And the half is really important. Okay. it was really almost, it was actually closer to 27, but only by like a couple weeks, but nevermind. but I also grew up, I'm like 62, so I'm like 20 years older than you are, something like that, right?

Yep. I grew up. Went to college in the 1980s, right? You probably weren't. Were you born then? I was born 87. There you go. Okay. I had already graduated college by the time you joined the world. So I was on the forefront. I went to Smith College, so Betty Friedan, the Feminine Mystique, like women, we were just like out there doing it all.

It was that generation of women. Go to work on Wall Street. I did not wear a tie like men, but there, that was the style back then wearing the ties like the men. And I did have my blue pleated skirt, blazer, white shirt, whatever. It almost looks like a Bako girl. But stuff was preparing you and whatever it was,

And I grew up in a family With four kids, five kids. When my dad and stepmom married, we were five and my stepmom worked. My dad built his business. I just, you know, that was the role. Modeling. My mom didn't work. My mom ended up, when my mom and dad had their, started having their kids, my mom became a stay-at-home mom, and she never really worked after that, even after the divorce.

But my. Conditioning was, go out there, do it all, have it all. And that's really how I came into it. And then I'm living in Israel and you know, back in the day when I moved to Israel, the joke was, you know, if you wanna make a million dollars in Israel, come with 2 million. And we had like $50,000.

That was what we had. So it was like, there, the only way we're making a million dollars is if we both are working our tails off. And that's what I did. So. Even to design my life, I just,love the concept and, adopt that concept at 62. It wasn't even on my radar screen. So I love that you are bringing this idea to the world and so when you're having,

You're coaching your clients, helping them to be like, don't just take anybody, but really think about your life. Who's gonna, you know, what are the check boxes? And you're teaching your women to trust themselves, to really go all in on their dreams. And that is, fantastic. And to have standards. We don't just need to get married, we need to stay married.

We don't just need to make money. Yes. We need to keep our money. Yeah. We don't just need to build a business. We have to build a business with purpose that's sustainable. Mm-hmm. So it's a very important thing to design your life because otherwise, again, you're so reactive and confused. There's a million ways to make a million bucks.

There's a million men that. Technically you can marry, there's some million people you can technically get advice from. Most of them probably aren't right for you. questions and write what comes up. There's a lot of, I want you to go back and say that again 'cause there was a glitch. I didn't hear you. you started saying if you as the listener. So let's just pause and start again. Whatever you were saying. if you as a listener want the practicality and how to design your life, what I mean is to sit down with yourself with a pen and a paper and ask yourself hard and important questions.

What do I want out of my life on my deathbed? How did I live the past? the former 30 years, what do I believe is my purpose? Who is my main avatar? Like, who do I want to work with? Who brings me joy to serve? Should I leave my current job? When do I feel it's right for me? What is my biggest fears?

And you sit with yourself alone. You bring a cup of coffee or water, and you write and you engage in proper communication with yourself. And Hashem and get to know yourself deeper because if you keep calling up your mom, your rabbi, your best friend or your uncle, like, they're not gonna know the truth inside of you.

And that is the practical application of designing your life, what matters, and sitting alone with yourself with a pen and a paper. Because scientifically there's a lot of research, with your hand writing. Is a much better way to connect yourself and get accurate information than like typing or texting.

I'm so on board with the writing. I tell my people all the time, write, write, write. I mean, you know, as a second best, you can put it in a Google Doc, but you also won't remember it, and things just flow when you're actually writing. So I'm definitely on board with that. And those. Are hard questions.

I think you only gave us three, right? What do you want when you, on your deathbed the last 30 years of your life, what do you want people to say about you? What do you want to have fulfilled in your life? And what was the third one? Just remind our listeners, what's, I mean, there's a million, but like, what's your biggest fear?

What do you think is holding you back? Who's the most toxic person in your life? if you were to change three things tomorrow, what would they be if you weren't afraid of failing? What would you go after? Yes. If you weren't afraid of what other people thought of you, what would you pursue? What brings you the most joy?

Even without thinking guilty thoughts like the, and you just hear you and you get to know you, and then you design your business, your love life, your work. those are excellent questions and I think I'm gonna, because you brought in Alex and Layla Mozzi, like one thing that Alex says over and over again is like, you're gonna die.

Yeah. But you talked about that fear of failure, we all know where we're going, right? Like, just do the thing. Jump. Build, do the thing, that thing that is on your heart, that thing that you, when you figure out what your purpose is by sitting down and spending time with yourself, and I feel like it must be more than a cup of coffee.

I'm kind of thinking like a gallon, you know, to get me to keep going, but like, just do the thing. And I think what that brings us around to that, like, that fear of failure and build and just like overcoming it and just do it. Take the risk, do it. We talked about this before we got on. we pressed record, we talked about.

Reinvesting in our businesses, right? 'cause there's so much fear, there's so much. How can I reinvest? How much money do I need to pour into this business? And what I've seen with people, because their families need money, and I'm not saying it needs to come from the business, it can come from a bank loan, it can come from a credit card loan, it can come from a family withdrawal, from your 401k.

And I'm not giving coaching advice to anybody here, but what I see is people. Strangle their business, the growth of their business, because any money that comes in, they're taking. To pay their bills, the electricity bill, school fees, shoes for the kids, even a new wig, whatever it is. They're like, I need this.

So they suck the money out of the business and it really stops that business growth and being willing to like take that risk and reinvest is such a huge thing. And I know that, and you and I have talked about this, so talk a little bit more to me about how you and your husband, 'cause we've talked about it and he's on board and I know you guys are like.

Investing a lot into your business and trying out a lot of lead magnets and funnels and things like that. So let's have a conversation about that. I think your business has to be connected to a purpose greater than yourself. Mm-hmm. For it to be sustainable. So if it's all about you, then you need the next Hazel.

Or you need to look good at your friend's, bar mitzvahs, whatever it's important to you like. But at the same time, if you're really gonna build a business, you have to have a value. spectrum. What is that? A kid or a dog or the duck. Okay. It was like an early warning sign. That's what I thought it was.

Okay. Anyway, we have to take that out I don't, it doesn't usually happen, but Okay. It's all goodies are The houthis are after us. Okay. Chris, cut that from the, recording anyway. Right? you have to have a purpose that's bigger than you. Right. So then you need to then assign value to how much it grows.

Like for me, my vision and purpose is so much bigger than myself. It's for babies to be born during my lifetime and after my lifetime into healthy, stable, peaceful homes. Mm-hmm. That means. When I don't feel like doing it, when I feel like giving up, when I feel like a failure, when I feel like it's too hard, there's something so much greater than I feel to propel me forward.

And I also had that with, when I was dating, my vision was to have a daughter born into a healthy home and never go through what I went through. I'm a child of divorce and a lot of wackiness and so I. Could have gotten married much earlier, but I was like, there is no way all of my pain is worth this individual or that I'm gonna release my purpose for my daughter to have the best life even before she's born, to just get married.

'cause I so badly crave. To be married already. So everyone wants money. Money's huge. It's a resource, but it's also an energy of an exchange. So when you reinvest in your business, it has to be attached to a purpose. If it's just to make money, it just doesn't give you enough gumption and grit. To keep going.

So reinvesting in your business, assign it to a value system of what you are trying to create in the world. And it could be just be present with your children. It could be just be present with your spouse. It could be just like, have calm when your kid, you know, to go travel with your family. It doesn't have to be like, save the world, Meir Hermo status, but it could, and it needs to be something bigger than you.

So that, I'm just curious if it has to be like that for everybody. Is that something that is specific to women? Because, and I know like Elon Musk has his goal of colonizing Mars, right? So that's his goal, right? Jeff Bezos has Amazon, but Is there such a purpose, fueled goal with Amazon?

Is it really to provide people with consumer products as quickly as possible and that fuels all the decisions? I actually, you know, haven't, read his, memoir, but biography or anything like that. But like does, because I'm thinking like I grew up again a little bit before you did with Pet Rocks, right?

Somebody was selling rock, right? You remember Pet Rocks? Like Yeah. That is not a very. Mission-driven bus business selling pet rocks. Yes. You're gonna like, that has to be like an interesting idea. That is a money maker. Yeah. But you're still making money for something. Why are you making money? So not how you're making money.

You can sell pet rocks. You can sell socks. in Shark Tank, the number one product. That sold the most out of all of the products on Shark Tank are socks. So it's not about what you're creating, that it's like colonizing Mars or saving babies or helping people make billions of dollars. It's what are you gonna do with your money?

Like what is that money, energy that you're retrieving or accepting into your life for? Does that make sense? It's not about the product, but about the purpose. Meaning like what? Like I'm sure you're not taking your money and I don't know, just buying four yachts or whatever. Like you're not thinking so superficially that it's only just for some superficial thing.

And the truth is there are people who make a lot of money who don't have high morals, but it comes out in a way. Where they very much suffer in their relationships and in their health. So maybe I can phrase it differently. If you want to not suffer in your health and relationships, then having a purpose for your money, not the product, but the purpose that you use your money for, needs to be greater than you.

I think you have to just keep coming back home and keep coming back to your purpose. And like my purpose is definitely the impact, you know, outside of me helping women who have mission-driven businesses like you and I are on the same page for that, like helping them to reach more people with their mission-driven businesses.

These are all like my babies. All the other people, all the other lives that are being touched in the world. so that's important. And no, I don't have a yacht. Don't have one, don't have four. that's for sure. I don't have a desire to have a yacht. That's also, you know, like my money's in investments, my money's growing, my money's doing its thing with the stock market a little bit in real estate.

And, you know, that's for me, my husband, our retirement, our kids, you know, our grandkids after 120. but that doesn't fuel my desire to build my business. Like, that's kind of like out there. there are people who really love. Like being an, active investors, I don't love being an active investor.

That's why my stuff is in, stocks and it's in market tracking indices and things like that. I don't wanna have to look at financial pages and computer screens and analytics and stuff like that to build my portfolio. So I'm much more a set it and forget it, girl, but yeah, it's growing, it's gonna take care of us.

And, God willing and that's really important. And so my work is really focused on building a business and helping other people. So what would your advice as we sort of wrap up this episode, if you were going to give women who are moms, 'cause that's what you are, and a lot of people listening to this podcast are women.

They're moms. They've got a lot of stuff going on in their lives. They've got their family, their husbands, or they wanna, find their intended, their partner, their bashert and they wanna build a business. What are like the top three pieces of advice that you would give them?

Design your life. Wait a second, we already started with that. Number one. I would say, f again, I would just say find your avatar. We, if you sell to everyone, you sell to no one. Right? So you do have to think about what your niche is, what God puts you here for, what brings you the most joy? who do you think you can give value to?

Because whether you're selling a product or a, course, you're gonna be in a lot of relationships. Mm-hmm. which is my expertise. But then you have to think about what kind of relationships do I want to be in? So let's say you're working with people and it's not just building a pet rock. Product.

Okay. You have to think, do I wanna work with elderly? Do I wanna work with women? Do I wanna work with the teenagers? Do I wanna work in addiction? Do I wanna work with battered women? Do I wanna work with women to help them make money? Do I want, I know women who work with just divorced mompreneurs. I mean, they've niched it down.

I, you know, and it could be anything. But I think that once we get clarity on where and who we can impact the most, it really helps guide us. In who we market to, who we connect with, who we reach out to, what groups we join, where we market. What's the copy? it's getting clear on, on your mission, your purpose, and how you wanna impact the world.

With who, what type of person? So let me ask you a question, because you were very intentional with the type of partner you wanted, your husband, and in terms of, and he, you wanted someone who could help financially support you or would completely financially support you and the family while you were, you know, till your youngest was three.

Now, in terms of the clients that you. Or choosing or you've chosen as your avatar because you said you work with women who are already successful. So women who are successful, but they're not in a love relationship. If they're financially successful, they can pay you more money. Right? So let's even like talk about that, like when you're fixing your prices and maybe even some money blocks that you had to overcome in order to charge, to focus on this as your target group.

I wanna go deeper there. Charging a lot of money and changing your avatar to people who couldn't afford you is a worthy game. It's a belief game. It's a God game. You know James, whatever his last name is, the guy with big blue eyes and who goes interviewing a bunch of millionaires. He's, the one who runs School of Heart knocks.

Most entrepreneurs know his YouTube channel. It's not, the dire of A CEO. Not that guy. Not Steve Barlett? No, that's Steve Barlett. So James is the one with like big blue eyes. He's like super young. He's like 23. And he runs School of Hard Knocks, which is the biggest, YouTube channel for businesses and entrepreneurs.

Like the biggest anyways. Wow. Okay. So he goes around and he interviews all these millionaires and billionaires. He always asks them, do you believe in God? And they're always yes. So my reason of bringing him in there is raising your prices is so godly because the devil or the tahara or whatever you believe in, wants you to stay stuck and wants you to stay small, and it could take you.

Five months to get to your money point, or it could take you five years depending on how worthy you believe you are and how valuable your service is. And it's a belief game. There's another woman who quotes, she's like, when God sets you up to do your purpose in the world, he's not looking at your bank account, he's looking at your belief systems.

And it's so true. So for me, like my money blockages were just like, how fast can I jump up my prices? Ooh, I like it. To make it worthy for me because I put heart and soul. My job, not everyone's job is this exhausting. My job is exhausting. I get calls of women who have been beaten, battered, sex trafficking husbands who did crazy stuff.

I mean, I get. The super intense stories, which are extraordinarily common even in the, from Jewish world. and I choose to listen, hold space and change women's lives when they dated people who were really not right for them because they allowed it, because they didn't believe they were worthy.

So for me, it's like, how much is my exhaustion, my skill worth, how much is my time worth? And it's not the time, again, it's the value. But for like my money block was. first I thought, you know, I have to start small because I'm not as well known as Right. And fill in the blank. Yep. And so you compare yourself to other people who probably aren't as good as you.

Maybe you might be better, but they have more, notoriety. And so you, so I would have a, a money block or a worthy block. Mm-hmm. On, well, this person is more well known than me, so they're like more famous or this, and therefore they can charge that because everyone knows their name, but nobody knows my name yet.

And so, and then I was like. Screw that. Like I'm literally so good at what I do. The transformations are so rapid, which is a huge blessing. Massive blessing. Yeah. People with years of their whole life, addicted and comfortable in trauma in like two to three sessions rapidly break their patterns and attract new relationship to me.

I'm still mind blown how. God has given me such a blessing to transform people in so rapidly. So it's like that would take them like 10 years in therapy. maybe if, because I've had people in therapy for 10 years who never got what they get from my courses. So maybe if, and so the worthy Block is like focusing not on myself ' cause I'm so small and I'm only one person and just about me.

But on God's a huge thing. Okay. And the transformation that I can give them. And also what I need the money for your business will not survive if you do not have consistent revenue. So if you wanna create rocks or save people, you can't do any of that without enough consistent revenue. So it's like systematic.

It's like godly and then practical systems you need to survive. Ooh, I love that. So you've chosen your avatar intentionally. Mm-hmm. Understanding who you can serve and you have overcome your own money blocks in order to do that, to see how fast you can rise. And I love that so much. And you brought in, God.

So I wanna go deeper on this, especially because again, it's Ella, we're developing a relationship. The king is in the field. How do you bring God into your business? Hashem is only love for everyone listening. Hashem is only love. If you have a negative thought, a doubtful thought, an angry thought, a negative self-talk thought, you're not good enough, you're not rich enough, you're not strong enough, you're not thin enough, you're not pretty enough.

that's the devil, as I like to say. You can call it the tahara, but like for me, that word resonates the best because it's just like, there's no positive intention in creation. Like the devil has a purpose in this world. The eight Sahara is not bad, he just has a function. Mm-hmm. The function is to keep.

Did you freeze? Yeah. you froze. So let's go back to, the eight Sahara has a function, right? So just start the eight. Sahara has one particular function, why it was created to fill you with enough fear and doubt that you do not take action. And so I was listening to one of these podcasts and he was like, who's the best advice?

Where can you get the best fight, Tom? And he is like, look at the graveyards. There's millions of people buried who had great ideas and never took action. Ooh. Yeah. And so. If you're not taking action, you're tapping into something that is not Hashem. Hashem is the creator. He's literally creating every second, simultaneously millions of amazing things in the world.

Like that is Hashem like he's full of love. He is the creator. You know, Hashem gives us life. that's the source of God. He gives us life. Mm-hmm. And hav, which means to give right, is the root of a hava. The root of love is giving, like Hashem is truly only love. So if you have negative belief systems that are stopping you from taking action because you're too afraid mm-hmm.

Then you're not in a. State of really connecting to Hashem with fullon and trust. Mm. So when you're in that state of love and you're in that state of, trusting Hashem, right, that gives you the strength. To raise your prices, the strength to receive more money and feel worthy of receiving more money to really design your life and your purpose and really get in touch with that.

Choose your avatar accordingly, and build your business. And it's almost I don't even see it as like an uplevel from where, like even if I'm trying to, like, as we're having this conversation, put little chess pieces on the playing board, I almost feel like we're just in a, on a different board.

Just like, doing it a little bit differently. So this conversation is so useful. So what would be the third piece of advice? And I love the bringing God in. I had, someone on the podcast, a couple months ago, Shoshana, RAF, and I said after two when she brought like the miracles and everything and I was like, maybe we'll stop at two.

But I think you would just have so much to give, so much wisdom to share with our listeners. So I'm gonna push you for one more, Thing that people, women, moms, need to focus on as they're building their mission-driven businesses, especially now, especially in ell. What would it be? So I'm asking hashem for guidance.

'cause I really wanna be able to serve everyone in the best way. The one thing that came to me when I'm like asking God, as you were speaking is get to your next failure faster. Ooh. Yeah. We're so afraid to fail, we don't take action. We're like, well, what if they don't pay me? What if I make a mistake? What if the funnel doesn't work?

What if the ad doesn't work? What if my husband thinks it's stupid? What if my friends think I'm stupid? Like I just, again, the devil says, don't, and like wants you to stay small and not take action. So, you know, in continuation to that, get to your next failure. Faster failure is, as Sarah Blakely coined it.

Only not trying, it's not about the outcome, it's the fact that you didn't take action. And so for me that was a big thing. Like I never wanted to screw up, especially 'cause I was in academia for so long. I want the straight A's someone tell me I did a good job, you know? Yes. Catch you on the head, give you a gold star.

Mm-hmm. I got a review from my book the other day and they give you like numbers for like different sections of your book. And the voice was a hundred and I was like, I got a hundred on voice. I was like a kid in school all over again. So for me, what blocked me was like, I don't wanna make the phone call.

I'm gonna screw up. I don't know what to say. I don't want to call leads cold. I don't know what to say. Like, and the truth is. There's still so many blocks inside of me that says, well, I don't know how to do it right, so I'm too scared and I'm not gonna do it. And I still have to go through that all the time thinking this isn't about me.

You've gotta put in your reps. Skills are not because you're bad at something, it's just 'cause you haven't done it enough, right? And so everyone's like, I'm not good at making phone calls, I'm not good at sales. I'm not good at fill in the blank. Like, girl, it's not that you're not good, you just haven't put in your reps.

You just haven't done it enough. exactly. To get to your next failure faster. Yeah. I love that so much. And Bill, I just say business is either, you're either winning or learning, right? It's not a failure. So something that you tried, It didn't work out yet. How many times did Edison try the light bulb, whether it's 10,000 or 1000 or whatever it was, just tried a bunch of things that didn't work.

But it's the more you just keep at it, it's gonna work. Trust God. Go design your life and love yourself all along the way. Yes, and we're gonna share, you have a beautiful, you know, lead magnet on seven, I think seven steps for loving yourself, building relationship. And it's also so appropriate for now, for ell, for your relationship with God.

Just when you create a beautiful relationship with yourself. Everything else is going to just be a completely different relationship and we'll go into the new year. Really shining. So yeah. Haya, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I am so glad that you are here, and I look forward to all of our listeners tuning in next week on the Jewish Entrepreneur Podcast.

Bye-bye for now.