Episode 118

5 Lies Your Brain Is Telling You and How to Stop Believing Them

Do you ever doubt the value you offer? Are you worried about offending your audience? As a business owner, your brain is feeding you lies and self-sabotaging thoughts all the time, and this brain chatter is stopping you from signing and helping your ideal clients. It’s time to get clear on what’s happening in your brain, and I’m showing you what you can do about it.

There are five lies that your brain tells you about yourself and your business that are stopping you from showing up and sharing all of your beautiful God-given gifts with the world. Whatever it is you believe is preventing you from creating a successful, profitable, sustainable business, this episode is for you.

Tune in this week to discover five lies you need to stop believing. Whether you’re worried that money will change you, that others will be offended by your selling, or you’re telling yourself you don’t know what to do next, I’m showing you how to slow down and stop believing the lies your brain is offering you.

Join me on March 6th, 2024, for a brand new workshop. This masterclass will be live on Zoom and it’s full of new material and big-level thinking I’ve never shared before. It’s called Meant for More, and you can join us by clicking here!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • 5 lies that are stopping you from growing your business.
  • How these lies keep you playing small.
  • Why nobody is offended by you selling during a crisis.
  • How to stop worrying about money changing you.
  • Why you are more organized than you think you are.
  • How to redirect your brain when it starts lying to you.

Resources

Read the full transcript now

You’re listening to The Jewish Entrepreneur Podcast with Debbie Sassen, Episode 118.

Welcome to The Jewish Entrepreneur Podcast. I’m your host, Debbie Sassen. I went from being a financial adviser, author, and chronic underearner to building my business to six figures as a financial planner and money mindset coach. And then, on to multiple six figures as a full-time money and business coach.

I help entrepreneurs create money making businesses and build wealth, using sales and money mindset strategies in alignment with authentic Jewish values. Now, let’s dive in to today’s show.

Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the podcast. Today’s episode is a juicy episode. I am going to be sharing with you five lies that your brain tells you about yourself and your business that is stopping you from showing up and sharing with the world all of your beautiful God given gifts.

You were created in God’s image. He fashioned you. He gave you all of the talents, the uniqueness, and the individuality that you have. And He gave you a mission and a purpose to share with the world.

You have your unique contribution, and when you can stop thinking those lies that are distracting you, you can make a bigger impact here in the world, with your people who are divinely contracted to work with you and they’re waiting for you to show up.

Before we jump into today’s podcast, I want to remind you that on March 6th, I am offering a two-hour workshop. It’s free, it’s interactive, and it is called Meant for More. Because you, my dear listener, are meant for more. You have so much to give to all of those people out there in the world who are waiting to hear from you.

There are self-sabotage and thought errors, like we’re going to talk about today, there’s so much procrastination and distraction happening, and you’re just not showing up. You are not thinking the right way about money. We’re going to be talking about that today, also.

When you stop keeping yourself small, and making it about the money, and making it about you, but really start showing up 100% in service of your clients, you can really make a bigger difference.

In the workshop, I’m going to help you create a roadmap to know where you are now, what is getting in your way, and what are the next best steps you should be taking in your business to grow and scale and make more money as a Jewish woman, as a Jewish entrepreneur.

So, go to my website, DebbieSassen.com/MeantforMore, and sign up for the workshop on March 6th. If you can’t be there live, then sign up anyway and I will send you the replay. It is going to be so valuable.

Alright, my friends, let us talk about five lies, thought errors, selfsabotages that your brain is feeding you, that is stopping you from working with your ideal clients.

The first one comes from one of my clients who is still in this thought loop that she can’t show up boldly in her business, because of the war that’s happening still, unfortunately, in Israel. Hamas is still trying to decimate us, although we have done our… we’ve done our best so far. There’s still more to go.

But yeah, there are still many, many, many hundreds of thousands of our soldiers in the army, and many wives and mothers who are managing their families on their own. Including my daughter, whose husband is currently in reserve service. It’s hard, I don’t discredit or dismiss that at all. It is hard for many people to add on to their lives when there’s so much other stuff going on and they’re working as single parents, as it were.

But if you have in your brain, like my client, that nobody is committing right now, nobody is looking for your offer… “People will be offended if I am marketing on social media. People will be offended if I’m sending my emails.” “When you are keeping yourself small,” this is what I told my client, “You’re actually offending the people who are looking for you. Because you’re not showing up and telling them how they can work with you.” Right?

I want you to think about that turnaround. If you’re so worried about the people who might be offended… And just think about that, if they’re so busy running their lives, just getting things done and going through the day to day, they’re probably not even paying extra time and attention to your posts and your emails.

They’re not looking for that added support right now. So, you’re certainly not offending them; they’re not paying attention. Their lives and buckets are full. But all of those people who are looking for you, the one, the two, the three, the 10, the 20s, you’re actually offending them by not letting them know that you are open for business.

All of my clients are signing clients right now, whether they’re coaches or creatives, copywriters, website designers, photographers. My clients are signing new clients into their businesses. So, don’t believe all of the thoughts that your brain is giving you, that you will be offending people if you’re not showing up.

There’s a sneaky sub-point to that. If you say something in your social media posts or in your emails that might offend people, those people can select out. They can opt out of reading your posts. They can unsubscribe from your email list. If they are offended by the words you say, by your offers, by the fact that you’re selling to them through your marketing channels, they can opt out.

Can you imagine if somebody opened up a magazine and every time there was an ad from Coca-Cola they unsubscribed from the magazine, or they ripped out that page from the magazine? Or you see an ad for a car company, or a coffee shop, or a clothing shop. People don’t open magazines and think, “Wow, how rude is it that they’re selling clothing to me? How rude is it that they’re telling me about diapers?”

But we as small business owners, we’re thinking, “Oh my gosh, I can’t send more emails because it could offend people. I can’t tell them that I have a coaching business and I can help them, and I can help them improve their lives, because they might be offended.” Real business owners don’t think like that.

Real business owners think, “There are people in the world and they want to hear from me.” So, my friend, stop believing the lies your brain is telling you, that you’re going to offend people, and go out and serve your people. Those are bad thoughts that are not helping you show up.

Another thought error that we have is that, “Money is going to change me. Money is bad. Money is evil.” This is the money mindset error that so many people get looped up into. I want you to know that this weekend, my husband and I are taking all of our family away to celebrate our anniversary.

Thank God, Baruch HaShem, we are a large family. My kids and my grandkids altogether, we’re over 30 people. And you know what money does? Money allows my husband and me to rent a villa, so that we can take away our entire family for three days and three nights. That’s the beauty of money. Money hasn’t changed us.

If you want to own a yacht, go own yacht. If you want to fly private, go fly private. But most people with a good value system, they’re going to use their money for their family to celebrate, to be together, to enjoy that connection, to build bridges, and create memories. That’s what you are doing with your money.

If you’re looking at the others, whoever those people are, like, “Oh, you know those people with a lot of money, they’re very rude. And they think that the world is all about them.” That’s not you. Right? Just because you have money doesn’t mean that you’re going to change the way you act and show up.

I want you to know that in my neighborhood, where I live in Israel, it’s very common for people to knock on our doors. They aren’t making it through the month, they need handouts, they need donations… Ṣedaqah, as we call it. Sometimes those people can also be rude and they can be a little bit aggressive. You give them a few coins and they’re like, “No, that’s not enough. I need…”

I’ve had people try to barge into my house. Or if my husband’s not home, they want to speak with my husband because they think that maybe he’ll give them a larger contribution. I also want you to know that poor people, people who aren’t making money but they’re looking for financial support, they can also be rude. But that’s an individual issue. It has nothing to do with the money.

So, if you’re believing… There are these sneaky errors in our brains… that ‘I’m going to be different. I don’t want to make more money because I’m afraid that it’s going to change me as a person,’ I just want you to know that money is an inanimate object. Money can never change you as a person. Money is a tool. It’s like your refrigerator that keeps your food cold. It’s like your washing machine that washes your clothing.

The fact that you have a fridge and a washing machine, which most of our ancestors didn’t have… Actually all of our ancestors didn’t have 100, 200, 300 years ago, right? For thousands of years we didn’t have refrigerators and washing machines.

We’re still humans. We still have human brains. We still show up in the world the way we show up, and just because you have a fridge and a washing machine doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Money buys you things that can make your life easier, and that help you to have family experiences.

So, find all of those sneaky thoughts about money and change them, because money will amplify who you already are. Money helps you have choices to celebrate your family. Money helps you to go to the store and buy food that’s healthy.

You know what else money did for me yesterday? My daughter, one of my married daughters, had an operation and she can’t clean her house right now because it’s painful for her. She’s not supposed to be lifting for six weeks.

So I brought my cleaning lady to my daughter’s house, and I paid for the cleaning lady for my daughter. That’s what money does for you. Money doesn’t do bad things. Money gives you choices. So, that’s two thought errors. One, You’re offending your client. And number two, that money will change you.

Here’s another thought error that many moms of many, and maybe moms not of not so many, are believing about themselves, that they’re disorganized and they’re not consistent.

When you’re thinking that in your head, because you are probably juggling a lot of different balls in your life; you have your family, you have your husband, you have schools, you have to make sure that your kids do their homework, that they have clean clothing to wear, you’re making sure that you’re showing up for your clients, you’re sending them reminders, you’re processing their payments, you have to make sure that you show up for your meetings.

One of my clients said that she dropped a few meetings in the last few weeks because her life is very busy. But that doesn’t mean that you’re disorganized. It means that you might need a better system for reminders. Or you might need to delegate and take some things off of your plate because you’re juggling many balls.

But when you’re lying to yourself in telling yourself, “I’m disorganized. I’m inconsistent. I don’t know how to do it all. I’m always chasing my tail,” that’s what you create in your life. When you tell yourself, “I’m organized, look at all the things I do. My kids have clean clothes most days. Food gets on the table. All of my kids are well fed.”

Might not be the best food. My kids grew up on noodles and ketchup. I never told myself that I was a bad mom because my kids were eating noodles and ketchup. I’m like, “My kids like noodles and ketchup. I’m really happy that I can give them dinner so easily.” Stop telling yourself lies, that you’re disorganized.

There are so many things in your life that are going right. Look for the evidence of how you are organized. Look for the evidence of how you bring in Shabbos every single week on time. And even if it’s two minutes late or five minutes late, you’re still bringing Shabbos in on time and you’re spending an entire Shabbos with your family. You’re off of social media. You’re off of your computers. You’re offline, and you are with your family.

Do you know how many people are in the world? There are 8 billion people in the world. How many people are not spending quality time with their families on Shabbat because they do have their phones and their distractions and their computers, and all of their things all week long? Look at what an amazing mom you are and all the things that are going right.

Stop this habit thought that is really destroying the way you show up in your business because you’re thinking that you’re disorganized and inconsistent. Remind yourself that you are doing so many things right.

And then, when you’re really feeling better about yourself, you’re like, “Yeah, that’s right. Look at A-B-C-D-E. Look at the things that I planned in advance because I’m so organized.” Then you will figure out better ways to delegate, to delete, to improve the systems you already have running in your business.

The fourth thought error that you’re telling yourself is that you don’t know. This is deadly for a business owner. We get stuck in this place of ‘I don’t know. I need to think about it. Well, maybe.’ And you know what ‘I don’t know’ creates? It creates more confusion. It creates more doubt. It creates more ‘I don’t know.’

We love to spin in doubt, it is your brain’s way of keeping you safe. Because your brain doesn’t like to stretch out of your comfort zone. Your brain was designed to keep you safe. Your brain was designed to increase pleasure; you’re going to look for pleasure in your life. You’re going to look for a quick dopamine fix.

So, if you’re sitting down in your business thinking about, “How can I serve my clients better? What words do I need to put in this email? How should I write my webinar?” Or my workshop that’s coming up on March 6th? Make sure you sign up for it.

If you’re really believing your brain that you don’t know, it’s going to stretch out so much time and waste it, because you’re just going to be spinning in indecision. Don’t let your brain tell you that you don’t know.

Grab your brain, corral your brain in, and tell your brain, “Yeah, of course you think you don’t know, but really I know. I’m a genius. I have done so many things in my business before. Of course, I know how to serve my clients. Of course, I know how to write this email.”

Ask yourself useful questions when your brain is being a toddler with a temper tantrum saying, “I don’t know. I don’t want to.” Slow your brain down, take a deep breath, and ask your brain: Well, what do I already know? What is clear to me? What do I understand? When you ask your brain useful questions it will give you useful answers.

But you have to slow down and take the time to stop believing the lies that your brain is offering you. So, when you notice this spinning thought in your brain, “I don’t know. Maybe. I need to think about it,” stop thinking about it and make a decision. It’s going to be a yes or a no. But go forward because you’re wasting so much time believing that you don’t know.

Number five, and this is a huge destructive thought that so many business women think, especially if you have a large family, especially if you still have little kids who are toddlers. They’re thinking, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” You’re going to grow your business tomorrow. You’re going to write that email tomorrow. You’re going to reach out to that client and follow up, “Remember, we had that conversation a week, two, three weeks ago?” You’re going to do it tomorrow.

Do you know what tomorrow is? Tomorrow is a bad habit that you have been training your brain to think over and over again. “I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow. Not today. I’ll do it tomorrow.” Your brain is so used to thinking I’ll do it tomorrow that it doesn’t even seem out of the ordinary to push things off till tomorrow that you could be doing today.

But here’s what happens when you push things off till tomorrow, you get less done. You end up wasting so much time. There have been so many podcasts that I’ve recorded recently about wasting time. But you can get things done today when you stop living in the land of ‘I don’t know,’ and you stop pushing things off till tomorrow. It’s just a bad habit thought.

So, next time your brain wants to offer you, “I’ll do it tomorrow. Maybe later,” tell your brain, “Nope, I don’t think so. I think we can do that right now. Let’s figure out how we can get that done in the next five minutes.”

Here’s how else your brain pushes off till tomorrow the things that you can be doing today. Investing in your business and making the decision to grow is a decision that you don’t want to push off till tomorrow. Because these years in your life, when you are a working mom and you have little kids, and middle-aged kids, and teenagers, and 20s… I have kids in my 30s and grandkids…

If you push all of that off till tomorrow, you’re going to have that runway, that space of time, when you can be investing a little bit at a time, a few hours a day, a few hours every single day will add up to many, many hours of growth in your business over time.

Just think about it. Let’s just do a simple calculation. If at this stage of your life, when you have a bunch of little kids, you can invest two hours a day in your business, that’s 10 hours a week that you can invest in your business. Now, multiply that by 50. So, that’s 50 weeks in a year; I gave you a couple of weeks off for good behavior and to make my math go beautifully.

But 50 weeks of 10 hours in your business every single year, that’s 500 hours in your business. Multiply that by 10 years, that’s 5,000 hours in your business, even if you only work two hours every single day for the next 10 years. Do you know how many years it’s going to take when you get to, let’s say, 50 to make back 5,000 hours in your business? I can’t even do the math on that.

But if you’re working, let’s say, 50 hours a week, which is more than a normal person works in a week; let’s say, 40 is your normal. But if you’re working 50 hours a week, it’s going to take you 100 weeks, it’s going to take you two years to make that time all back again. And that’s just two hours.

Usually, as our kids grow older and your youngest goes to school, first, second, third grade, you can expand from two hours to three hours to four hours to five hours. Until maybe when your youngest is 10 years old, you actually have five or six or seven hours a day to invest in your business.

So, don’t let this time slip by. Invest in business growth now. Invest in doing what you can now. Make yourself more efficient in what you’re doing by stopping the “stinking thinking” and all these lies about you’re disorganized, you’re inconsistent, money is going to change you, money will make you evil, you’re going to offend people if you show up.

Now is the time. You have your God given gifts. You were created in His image. And what is bubbling up for you, your dreams and desires to serve your people, that’s His whisper. That’s the still, small voice that’s calling selling out to you to be more of who you already are. Not to stay in the shadows, and not to hide yourself.

You really are meant for more, my friends. Now is the time. Even at this stage of your business, even when your kids are younger, and when your kids are older. And by the way, when they’re older, they call you and you send them your cleaning ladies.

So, it’s not always less time when your children are older; their needs are different. But Baruch HaShem, thank God, I have so much nakhes from my children and so much that I can give to them, because I’ve invested in myself and my business and my kids all through these years.

I really want to remind you of these thought errors. Number one, “I’m offending people by showing up right now because of the situation.” I want you to really believe that you’re offending them when you don’t show up, because you’re not letting them know that you can help them.

Number two, “Money is going to change me.” No, money will not change you. Money is just a tool. Just like your washing machine never changed you, your washing machine helps you get your clothes clean faster. That’s all that money does. It gives you choices and helps you get things done faster.

Number three, you’re disorganized. You are so organized; you get so many things done in your day, in your week, in your month. There are so many things going right for you. Direct your brain to all the things that are going right, and tell your brain, “I’m so organized. I know how to do this. Help me figure out where I can get more done in my business as well, because I’m such a genius.”

Number four, “I don’t know.” Don’t live in the land of ‘I don’t know.’ You know so much. You’ve gotten so much done over your life. You have created. You have managed to get through school, more or less. You brought children into the world. You have created a home. You know so much. You are a genius. Reach into your inner genius and ask yourself what you do know, what you do understand, what is already clear to you.

And of course, there are people, there are coaches, there are accountability buddies, there are groups, there are friends that you can reach out to if you really have a question that you’re stumbling upon. But don’t tell yourself the lie that you don’t know, because you know so much. And by the way, Google is just a click away.

The fifth thought error that your brain is telling you is that you’ll do it tomorrow. Don’t do it tomorrow, my friends.

Go right now to my website, DebbieSassen.com/MeantforMore, and sign up for the workshop. I’m going to help you stop sabotaging yourself and living in overwhelm. I’m going to help you create a roadmap so you actually do know where you’re getting stuck, what’s the next best step for you to take in your business, and plan out the rest of the things you want to accomplish in your business in 2024.

I’m going to share with you a simple three-step process to get yourself out of ‘I don’t know’ and to get yourself moving in your business. We’re going to talk about undercharging, underselling, and underearning, because it is time to flip the switch on all of your thoughts about money.

I look forward to seeing you on March 6th at the workshop, and if you can’t attend a live register anyway and you will get the replay and the workbook.

Alright, my friends. Thank you for listening in today. I will see you next week. Bye.

Thanks for listening to The Jewish Entrepreneur Podcast. If you want to stop underselling and underearning and close more sales, you need to clear the limiting money beliefs that are sabotaging your business growth.

Head on over to DebbieSassen.com/mindset and download my free Money Mindset Workbook. Uncover and dissolve money blocks, like hundreds of other entrepreneurs who are now building six-, multi-six-, and seven-figure businesses and creating true financial freedom.

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