Episode 053

Change Your Mindset to Change How You Sell

Potential clients come to us business owners because they have problems that they want solved. Maybe something in their life isn’t going the way they want it to, or everything is great, but they know they’re missing out on more potential or possibility. It could even be something as simple as wanting something they don’t have yet.

No matter what, they come to us because they believe we have the key to unlock whatever door they’re looking at (or can help them find one they can’t yet see). However, even if we do have what they are looking for, we get too focused on why we need them as a client, and the sale never happens.

It’s time to change your mindset. Join me on the podcast this week to learn about “Sacred Selling Conversations” and why having them will change the way you connect with your clients (and how often you turn potential clients into paying ones).

The doors are now open for my 9-month group coaching program, Wired for Wealth! Learn how to balance your work and your life, starting with a 4-hour intensive workshop, and truly become the CEO of your own business. Click here to join the program, which begins November 28th, 2022.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How what we need in our life can impact our conversations with potential clients.
  • Tips for getting out of your own head.
  • Why thinking about your future relationship with your clients is important.
  • How to change how you think about conversations with clients (and potential clients).
  • Why you should come to client meetings more prepared.
  • How to turn ethical urgency into abundance.


  • If there is something specific that you want to hear or learn about money, business, marketing, or selling, send me an email!
  • Connect with me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram!
  • If you want more information on Wired for Wealth, my 9-month group coaching program, click here to schedule a free consult where I’ll answer any questions you have.

Read the full transcript now

You’re listening to the Mastering Money in Midlife podcast with Debbie Sassen Episode 53.

Welcome to Mastering Money in Midlife, a podcast for midlife women in business to overcome financial anxiety and make more money without burning out or sacrificing their families. Join Certified Life and Money Coach Debbie Sassen, as she shares practical business strategies and mindset shifts that help you dissolve the money blocks that keep you stuck in a cycle of under earning and under saving, sabotage the growth of your business and prevent you from building the wealth that you desire.

Well, hello, my friends, and welcome back to the podcast. Today, is a rainy day in Israel. I think it’s the first big rain of the season. I love the fact that the weather is cooling down. It takes until November, in Israel, and we can still have warm days even into December. But it clears the sky, clears the dust, cleans the car, that’s really exciting. That we can actually see out of the front and back windows of the car. There isn’t this layer of dust on the car.

And it’s just a sign of new seasons, new life; refreshing, renewing, rebirthing. Even though it’s the fall season, and this is the time when we plant seeds to grow in the spring and in the summer, it’s still a change. And, change is always good. That brings me to the excitement that I was feeling this morning.

I am planning for the virtual live event, that is going to kick off my nine-month group coaching program, Wired for Wealth. It starts on November 28th, with a four-hour live event. I was getting into the mood, thinking about the Mindset Module that we’re going to be covering at the live event. Because so much of your business, how you grow your business, and how you think about it, how you think about money, and the amount of money you can allow into your life and into your business, starts in your mind.

We’ve talked about before, on the podcast, how you have what’s going on your mind, and then also your nervous system wiring and programming around money. But this morning, I was thinking about just talking about our minds, and really, what your mind can conceive, it can believe. Just think back 100 years ago, like who thought 100 years ago that we could get a man on the moon, right?

It was before the airplane, or maybe it was about, it was just after, actually, the airplane was invented. So, we knew we could have flying obstacles in space. But the idea of landing a man on the moon, or today, we have rovers on Mars, like those are just mind-boggling creations, inventions, that came from the human mind.

I want to invite you to step into unlimited possibility. Whatever your mind can conceive of, you can create. You can believe that it’s possible for you. And, you can step out and create it. That is how we’re going to kick off my nine-month program, Wired for Wealth. If you want more details… Today, if you’re listening to the podcast on the day it drops, it is November 15th. Enrollment is still open for another week, until November 22nd.

So, reach out to me via my website, DebbieSassen.com/wired-for-wealth and take a look at all the details of the program. If you are a business owner and you’ve been in business for a while, you’ve been making money; could be you’ve made a total of $10,000 or $20,000 or $50,000. It could be you’re already a multi six-figure earner. And you know that 2023 is the year for you to grow and expand, we’re going to help you really simplify your business.

Just focus on the big things that are making you money. Change your nervous system wiring and programming your mind around money, and what’s possible for you. We’re gonna work together for nine months to grow your business. To make more, to have more, just to be in the luxurious and abundance nests of having more money.

And then, of course, doing responsible things with your money and building long-term wealth. So, that’s Wired for Wealth, go check it out; DebbieSassen.com/wired-for-wealth. I look forward to seeing you inside.

For today, on the podcast, it’s actually kind of funny; it hit me between the eyes last week. It’s almost like, you know, if you’re walking around the house looking for your glasses… I wear glasses but I don’t wear them very often. I only need them for a little bit of distance. If I would be looking for my glasses, and then it’d be like; oh, I’m actually wearing my glasses. I don’t need to look for them.

Or, if you’re looking for the car keys and then you notice that the keys are in your hand. Even though you spent like five minutes turning over every surface in your house. They’re either in your hand, or in your pocket, or something like that. There, right there in front of your eyes.

I have a resource that I share with my clients, that it’s been there right in front of my eyes, and it’s so connected with money. For some reason, I’ve never thought, in one year of producing this podcast, that I should talk about it. So, today is the day. And that is, how to have sales conversations respectfully, or with dignity, for your clients.

I have a resource that my clients receive, my one-on-one clients, and also my group coaching clients. It’s called “Sacred Selling Conversations”. Because I really believe that every conversation that you have with a potential client, when you are selling, is a sacred opportunity to be with that client.

Potential clients come to us because they have problems that they want solved. It could be like a big P problem, or a little P problem. But there’s something in their life or in their business, that’s not going the way they want and they want something different. Or, maybe their life and their business is fine, everything’s great, but they know that there’s unlimited potential, more possibility in the world, and they want to achieve something more.

So, that’s also like, maybe a little P problem. But there’s something that they don’t yet have, and they want it. They think that you are the address, the answer, to the thing that they’re looking for, the solution to their problem, the result that they want in their life. Like, you have that key that’s going to unlock the door.

The problem is so many people approach sales and sales conversations with like icky, wonky energy. And, it might not even be that you’re thinking about this purposely. But it could be even bubbling up under the surface. That you have a graspiness to get this client, or a neediness. Because if this client signs up to work with you, then you are going to feel more worthy, or you might feel more validated.

Or, perhaps even, you need the money right now, to pay your electricity bill or to send your kids for orthodontics. Your kids might need braces or you want to send them for baseball lessons, whatever it is. So often, without even realizing it, we bring our own stuff to a sales conversation. When in fact, it should never be about us.

In my “Sacred Sales Conversations” guidebook, I begin straightaway talking about this idea that sales conversations are sacred. And in Judaism, we have a principle that holiness needs preparation. In Hebrew, it is Kedusha tzircha hachanah. You have to prepare to be in a holy or sacred relationship.

And when you change your mindset, when you change the way you think about these sales conversations, it can change the whole trajectory of what is happening between you and your potential client. So, what do I mean by “prepare”?

Very often, before my clients have worked with me, they approach sales conversations as something that they do when they’re doing carpool, right, they just sort of like slip it in. Or, you can be having a conversation while you’re making dinner.

And hey, I remember, like call myself out, back in the day, before I really understood this principle deeply. I can even visualize myself right now, with one of my former clients, we worked together for over a year. And there I was, on my phone, cooking in the kitchen. So, nothing happened and nothing is wrong, if that’s what you’ve done in the past, until this very moment.

But from now on, decide that you’re not going to do it anymore. It’s really important to prepare yourself, so that you can receive somebody into your conversation and into… It’s almost like inviting them into your home. You want to prepare ahead of time.

All of the kids toys, they’re all over the floor, you want to stuff them into the closet, or sweep them under the sofa. Maybe there’s some dishes in the sink and you want to clean those up. When you invite somebody into your home, you want it to be a warm, welcoming atmosphere.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you should be a perfectionist about this, and nobody’s ever allowed into your home until you clean up, but just think about the difference a person feels when there’s just this calm and organized feeling in your home, versus everything topsy-turvy.

Again, if your house is topsy-turvy and people come in, nothing went wrong. But if somebody’s going to pay you money, be respectful of them and their time. Get out of your own head. I always recommend that my clients spend 15, or even 30 minutes, getting out of their own head.

If you really need this client, or if you really need this money, or something that’s going on in your life, write it all down on a piece of paper, everything that you’re thinking and feeling; how you haven’t signed a client in the last five or six months, you’ve got bills to pay, the car needs some repair. Whatever it is, get it all down on paper so it’s no longer taking up valuable space in your mind.

Because those thoughts, that are like bubbling and simmering inside of you, they’re going to show up in the energy that you project on your call. If you have this wonky energy, and you need something from this potential client, as much as they need something from you, they are going to feel it. And it’s going to repel them, like bad perfume from the cheap drugstore. They’re just going to hike for the hills, they’re going to disappear on you.

So, get your stuff and your neediness out of the picture. It’s not that you don’t need the money. It’s not that you don’t want the money, and want to grow your business, all of that is okay and valid for you in your business. But somebody is approaching you.

I even did a quick calculation; I have been working with the same personal trainer since July 2020. And when I do a quick, back of the envelope calculation, I have paid my personal trainer, let’s call it three and a half years, about 100,000 shekels; that’s, let’s say $30,000. It started twice a week and then, at some point, I increased to going to my trainer three times a week.

If you think about your potential client, and the long-term value of that client to you, just think about having a three-year relationship where the value is $30,000. I don’t see myself retiring from working out with my personal trainer, you know, certainly not in the next three years or the next three after that, God willing, we should both be healthy. But this could be a $100,000 relationship or even more.

And when you think about how much value your potential client could bring into your life, that should make you stop and take a deep breath and say, “Whoa, this person deserves 60 minutes of my time, uninterrupted. My kids shouldn’t be climbing on me, trying to pull the phone out of my hands. I shouldn’t be cooking dinner. I shouldn’t be at the supermarket talking to them while pushing the cart down the aisle.”

This person deserves 60 minutes of your time, when you have gotten all of the gunk that is in your mind out on paper, and you’ll deal with your stuff another time. Because this is the time for you to be curious about your potential client. What do they need? Where are they stuck? How would they like to grow and build? Are you the right person for them?

It could be the answer is, yes. And it could be that the answer is, no. Right? You also want to be 100% in integrity with your potential client. If you’re not the right address, the best thing that you can do for this person, and for yourself, is to refer them on to somebody else who could better serve them. If you don’t have anybody in your referral network, that’s also okay. Make yourself a mental note, that you need more people in your referral network, so that you can also be a resource that people turn to.

But always think about; this person has their stuff, and you’re here to help them deal with their stuff. They are never here to help you deal with your stuff. Make sure that you that you’re sitting, that you’re calm, that you’re in an abundant energy. Because at this very moment, when you’re having that conversation, you have lights on, you have food to eat, you have running water, you have a flush toilet, you have clothing on your body, you have a phone, for goodness sake, or Zoom™ or both of them.

Which means that you are living better than, let’s say, 50% of the people on the planet. I don’t mean to make you feel like; oh wow, I should really be grateful. Kind of like, maybe, your mom said that you should finish all the food on your plate because there are starving children in Africa. It’s not that kind of feeling.

But really, we do live in the Western world. We live an abundant life, and to be in gratitude for that will change the entire trajectory of your sales conversations. I also like to say a little prayer before I get on my sales conversations. Where I say, it’s one of the psalms, that I raise my eyes to God, and he’s the one who helps me. And that way, I remember who is in charge of everything; all of my money, all of my clients, all of my abundance; He is really in charge. And, it gets me out of my head.

Now, I will say, there are times that I have also Zoomed into my sales conversations. It happened to me not so long ago, there was something going on in my business, and I was really frustrated. I was like, my energy was like, you know, bzz bzzz bzzz, you know, like, to the last minute; I was just like working really hard.

Even my husband popped his head in the door for something, and I was very short tempered with him, like; can’t you see that I’m in the middle of something right now? I didn’t have that time to just sit and ground myself and be calm before I had that conversation with a potential client.

Interestingly, that client didn’t say, no. That client actually, ultimately said, yes. I wasn’t in that abundant, open space on the sales conversation. We ended up having a follow-up call the next day. And, I showed up with much more calm energy. I was able to close the sale on behalf of my client, as a service to my client, who was really looking to get their problems solved.

So, I offer you the opportunity to change the way you think about your sales conversations. They are sacred opportunities for you to work with your clients. There are people out there that teach very heavy-handed sales tactics and techniques. There are so many different ways.

One of my clients told me, a few months ago, she was doing some sales training with someone; not me. And she was telling me, she was actually driving home from work, she got a call from someone, and her sales consultant told her a whole script about how she should almost make up a story that; oh, if you’re calling me at six o’clock at night, and you need a turn-around by tomorrow, you know, oh, let me see I could fit you in, maybe.

Like, it was all a made-up story in order to create this FOMO. Right? This Fear of Missing Out, or this artificial, urgent energy. I never want you to be inauthentic, out of integrity, to create FOMO unnecessarily, working with you. This is also your belief about you as a business owner. Working with you is an amazing opportunity.

There are enough clients in the world that can fill up your calendar. There is enough money in the world that can fill up your bank account, and it can be overflowing. You never need to create artificial urgency or artificial FOMO.

Now, there is something that’s called like “ethical urgency”. That you want to encourage your client, from an ethical and integral place, to sign up with you, because the sooner they get their problems solved, the sooner their life and their business is going to have a turn-around and be better. But that’s always from a serving, giving, ethical place. It is never from a scarcity, limited opportunity place.

Be in your own abundance, right here, right now. Trust in God, or Source or Spirit or Universe; whoever you trust in. But really trust that your clients are coming. They’re on the way. You don’t need to be heavy handed and convince someone to work with you, twist their arm, metaphorically.

It is always a sacred service to your clients, to invite them into work with you. Respect their dignity, their humanity, and their humaneness, and create a beautiful container. Let’s go back to that clean, orderly house again. If you’ve got some kids’ toys that you swept under the sofa, that’s fine. But allow them, allow your potential client to come into the conversation and just feel really good, clean energy about it, that you are 100% there for them.

All right, my friends. That is what I have for you today. Invite people to work with you from a sacred place. And with that, I invite you, from a sacred place, respecting your dignity, and your humanity as a person and as a business owner, to work with me for nine months in my Wired for Wealth group coaching program.

It is the only coaching program for business owners, where we are going to work on your money, mindset, your nervous system programming around money, we’re going to rewrite your family of origin story around money, forgive financial mistakes, get rid of any blame, or shame, or guilt.

Any of those times where you may have been convincing in your sales conversations. We’re just going to let that go and feel more settled and grounded in our bodies around money. And believe wholeheartedly that there is enough money and enough clients in the world. I’m going to help you to simplify your business and simplify your offer. If you’re out there selling five or seven different things, each one of those needs its own sales sequence or sales process. That’s a lot of sales conversations.

But the more simple your business is, the easier it is for you to scale. And we’re gonna get you stepping into your CEO self. We’ve talked about this before on the podcast, that a CEO thinks about her business strategically, for the long term; you are not a fly-by-night business. You don’t want to get hustley and impatient. And, you have to do all the things, now.

When you’re strategic about your business, you do some things now, and some things can just wait till later; we’re just going to put them in our inbox. Or, you’re going to create a Google Doc™, or something like that, where all of your ideas can rest until you have the time to work on them. But depending on what stage of business you are in, you might be just trying to fill your one-on-one client calendar, or you might be ready to scale, like some of my clients are.

And when you’re ready to scale, that needs systems and processes that are different from and more powerful than the systems and processes you need for a one-on-one business. So, if you are ready to do this work, go to my website, DebbieSassen.com/wired-for-wealth and look at all of the details there on the sales page.

If you have any questions, of course, reach out to talk to me and schedule a consult. Let’s see if this is the right program for you. We start Monday, November 28th, with a four-hour live, virtual event. I look forward to seeing you there. Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to Mastering Money in Midlife. If you want more information on Debbie Sassen or the resources from the podcast visit MasteringMoneyinMidlife.com.

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