Money, Marketing and Mindset

You’re listening to the Mastering Money in Midlife podcast with Debbie Sassen Episode 49.

Welcome to Mastering Money in Midlife, a podcast for midlife women in business to overcome financial anxiety and make more money without burning out or sacrificing their families. Join Certified Life and Money Coach Debbie Sassen, as she shares practical business strategies and mindset shifts that help you dissolve the money blocks that keep you stuck in a cycle of under earning and under saving, sabotage the growth of your business and prevent you from building the wealth that you desire.

Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the podcast. We are after the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot. That means that life gets back to normal, whatever normal means for you. But we had a beautiful three-week period, during which, we were mostly celebrating the Jewish holidays.

Wouldn’t it be lovely to always be on holiday or on vacation, spend time with our families, just enjoying the world and our togetherness, and being together with God, our Creator. It sounds just blissful, and delightful.

But hello, we are back to what we call ‘real life’. Although, it is all real life. We are back to business on the podcast. Our business is making money; growing our businesses, serving our people, having more money in savings, in your long-term investment accounts, building wealth, and donating and sharing your money with the world to serve the causes and the people whom you would love to support.

And that is a joyful, delightful experience in this world. Today, we’re going to talk about marketing, money, and mindset. Because if you want to reach more people in your business, you always have to be marketing. It is the number one rule of business; is to let people know that you exist. But I hear from people all the time, “I just want to work in my business, I just want to be with my clients. Why do I have to do the marketing? It’s not my zone of genius.”

And here, is what I would like to offer you. Marketing is how you are with your clients. The way you show up in the world with integrity and authenticity, exactly like you are. When you are marketing yourself, you are marketing your business. And you’re letting your clients, and your potential clients, know who you are and how you can serve them.

And I like to say, that people who will never pay me $1 or a shekel, they’re also my clients, they are my free clients. People reach out to me and tell me that they have changed their money mindset, by participating in a webinar, listening to a podcast, watching a Facebook® live where I was being interviewed or sharing content. Those are all of my beautiful, free clients.

I’m doing marketing for all of my clients in the world and my business. And it is how I get to be with all of my clients, all the people. All the people whom God has divinely contracted to work with me. The problem is, with marketing, that so often our relationship with money and our mindset around money gets in the way of the marketing. Not because we want to be in the business making money and not doing the marketing.

But because if there is any scarcity, or lack, or impatience, around money, it’s going to come through in our marketing. Because the emotions that we’re feeling and the vibrations that are coursing through our bodies, they impact the way our clients, our free clients, our paid clients, or potential clients, our vibrations and energy impact the way people receive our marketing messages.

If there’s something just a little bit off, or neediness, like you need people, or you’re judging them, because you’re thinking oh, they’re never going to pay for my services, they’re never going to work with me because they don’t have enough money. They’re just going to work with someone who charges half of what I do. Like, that icky feeling is going to be transmuted to your potential clients.

So, it makes a lot of sense for you to clean up your relationship with money. Really connect with the beautiful abundance of money and people that is available in the world, so that you can mark it from a clean and expansive abundant place.

Today, I’m going to ask you some questions. I recommend that you grab a pen or a pencil and a piece of paper. If you’re listening to this while you’re out walking, come back and do the exercises. If you’re driving in the car, of course, don’t stop and write down your answers, come back again and listen to this recording.

But I do think that it is important for you to have a mind-body connection with your money. We’re going to talk about that a little bit more. I love putting pen to paper, it triggers something in my brain. And I think there’s actually research that confirms this, it will trigger something in your brain that is different from just answering the question mentally, or even at typing out the answer into a computer.

So, if you’re in a place that you can pause the recording, go get yourself a pen, piece of paper, pencil, it’s all the same to me. And then, you’ll be able to answer the questions. I’m going to ask you some questions about money.

Before I do that, and you can be listening to this while you’re grabbing your pen and paper. Let me describe to you what I call the “think-feel-do cycle”. We think thoughts. Those thoughts will cause vibrations in your body, they’re going to cause a feeling and emotion. And everything that we do or don’t do in the world, is because of our emotions. Our feelings and emotions are always fueling the actions that we take, and that we don’t take.

If there’s excitement, and motivation, and inspiration, and positive feelings, we’re way more likely to take the actions that we want to take. And if we’re feeling down, we’re feeling negative, or there’s that fear of failure, or scarcity around money, that is also going to impact the actions that we take or that we don’t take.

Which is why we’re going to be doing a little bit of diving into your relationship with money, putting pen to paper, so that you can uncover the thoughts that you’re thinking, and the feelings that you’re feeling around money.

The first question that I want you to answer is how much savings do you have in the bank account, right now? If you had to access it for an emergency; maybe your car breaks down and you need a repair, or you need some root canal. Maybe you need to take an emergency flight overseas or across country to visit your parents; there’s a medical issue.

This happened to me eight and a half years ago. I got a call from my sister that my mother was an ICU and she was not going to make it out alive. May her memory be blessed. My mother passed away eight and a half years ago. I had to get on a plane fast. I was very emotionally triggered at the time. I got a hold of the travel agent, and I said, “I will take any seat on the plane, except for a middle seat.”

As it turned out, the only seats available were in first class, if it wasn’t a middle seat, and I was not going to be squished between two people while I was feeling very emotional. I needed like, some space on either side of me. I said I will take it. I have to say it’s the most expensive flight that I’ve ever paid for; crazy.

It was also the most enjoyable flight, and since then I’ve flown first class. But the first class, on that flight, was a better first class. Like, the bed was actually laid 100% flat, and they brought us mattresses. I don’t know why, what was different? I think it was Elul, but I’m not even sure that I remember that correctly.

But I do remember that I just felt like I could have my own space, even the way the seats were designed. And it was like, the best first-class experience ever. That’s just such an ironic situation. It cost $7,500; I did not bat an eye. And, I’m so grateful that I had money in savings.

Write down your number, and all of the thoughts and all of the feelings that are coursing through your body while you’re writing down that number. Because for so many people, their thoughts are it’s not enough. What happens in an emergency? Oh, no, we might have to go into debt. I don’t feel safe.

The amount of money we have in savings is a metaphor for safety and security. And if you have these simmering feelings and thoughts of lack of security and lack of safety in your money, it is going to come out in your marketing. It is going to have just a little bit of an edge on the activities that you’re taking or not taking in your business. We want to bring up all of the thoughts and all of the feelings so that we can clean them up, before you do your marketing activities.

The next number that I’m going to invite you to write down is how much are you making in your business? Write down your income number for all of 2022. Right now, we’re in the middle of October, so you know, pretty much, how much money you have made in your business thus far. Or, if you want to look at the last 12 months, because that gives you a one-year picture, write that number down.

And again, a lot of people write down; it’s not enough. What would happen if there was an emergency? They look at that number and they feel like they’re a failure. They feel like they’re a loser. That they’re doing something wrong. It’s not working. Other people are doing better. Why is it taking me so long?

I invite you to write your number down, and pay very close attention to all of those little voices in your brain, and that inner critic that’s saying things. They’re like a refrigerator humming in the background, always. We want to bring them out, so that we can clear them out. Because whatever you’re making, it’s just part of the trajectory of your business, from the first day that you’re in business until the last day you’re in business.

And the truth is, everybody starts at zero. Before you earn your first dollar in your business, of course, you’re at zero. You can’t compare your beginning to somebody else’s middle, or your middle to somebody else’s middle. Because middle is a very long place between day one and day finish. You’re all going to be in different places, and never compare your journey to somebody else.

It does help you to know that other people are making more money, because it shows you and gives you evidence that there is more abundance and more possibility available in the world. So, that’s just a positive benefit of looking outside of your lane, instead of staying in your lane.

But always be aware, if you’re beating yourself up and judging yourself. Because you’re thinking to yourself; I am doing something wrong. It’s not working. I’m not making enough money. That self-judgment, and that criticism, and those negative thoughts in your brain will create negative feelings. And, that will show up in your marketing activities. So, you want to bring them out, and then clear them.

The final number that I invite you to write down, is your income goal for the next two or three years in your business. In Episode 45, we talked about creating an income goal for the next 12 months. But you know I like to write down stretch goals.

I want you to think about an amount of money that you would love to be making in your business, so that all of your family expenses were taken care of. You had money in emergency savings for that car breakdown, or for travel overseas in an emergency. You had money in savings and investments, and you knew that you were growing your retirement account, and you just could live a more comfortable life.

Or, maybe you want a down payment for a house, whatever it is, what you are focusing on now, in your life and your business, write down your stretch income goal for the next two to three years. And again, notice the thoughts that are coming up in your brain, and the feelings that are coursing through your body.

So many people will write down a long-term income goal, and the thoughts are gonna show up; how am I going to make that happen? It’s impossible. There’s no way. I’m going to have to work harder. I’m going to have to work longer hours. I need a better website. I’ll have to figure out how to run Facebook® ads. I don’t even know if I can charge that much money for my services. How am I ever going to make that much money?

And then, there’s the really sneaky thoughts: I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough. I’m not deserving. Don’t be embarrassed, or don’t feel guilty or ashamed, if that’s what’s coming up for you. Because it comes up so often. Write it down, because it’s there under the surface, and we want to bring it out so that we can clear it and release it.

Three years ago, I did an exercise in my business where my stretch goal, for my future, was $600,000. I could visually see and feel myself pushing the money away. It just did not seem possible that I could make that much money in my business. That I was just resisting it, even like, viscerally resisting it. And now, it just seems like I’m gonna get there. It might take a year, two or three years.

Of course, I’m going to create a business of $600,000. There is zero resistance in my body, to that number. But if that’s where you are, let’s bring it up. And, let’s figure out how we can clear it. Because it is a limiting belief.

There are many people in the world who are making half a million dollars, $1 million dollars, 2 and 5 and $10 million dollars in their businesses. You are absolutely worthy, and you can do it, too. But if you’re showing up in your marketing activities from scarcity, not worthy, not deserving, your clients are going to feel that. So, you want to let it out. And you want to reframe your limiting beliefs, from limiting beliefs to affirmations.

And there’s some other nervous system work that we can do, on the way from limiting belief to positive affirmation. That’s  some of the tapping work that I do with my clients. We’re just sitting and breathing in to that feeling. Notice where it lands in your body, and spend five minutes breathing into that feeling.

It might feel uncomfortable to sit still and breathe for that amount of time, but it really, really works. Just letting it be there; letting it almost rise up like a wave, crest, and then drop. It could take 2 minutes, 5, 10 minutes. Whatever it takes, allow it to bubble up, and then allow it to dissolve into the universe.

Let’s talk about your marketing activities. If you are feeling any scarcity, like you have to hustle and go and grab the money, you’ve got to find the clients, you’ve got to be out there chasing after money. That could be showing up in your business in the following ways. Number one, you could be showing up, marketing your business, and trying to talk to everybody.

Because you’re afraid that if you’re going to just limit yourself, and niche down to one kind of person, one type of client, not enough people are going to come or nobody comes. So, what happens, is you end up wishy-washy in your marketing, and nobody really feels like they are your client. Because you’re not going to be specific enough in your marketing message.

Don’t be wishy-washy. Don’t be in a place of scarcity. If you are working with entrepreneurs, let’s say, like I am, rather than working with people who are in a job or have a career, like, stop talking to everybody. I don’t talk to everybody about money. I talk, specifically, to entrepreneurs. And for many of my clients, those are entrepreneurs in their midlife. Although, my clients range from mid-20’s, all the way into their 60’s.

So, even if I’m speaking specifically to midlife entrepreneurs, I end up working with people on either side of the range of what midlife is. Although, 60 is midlife, I’m gonna get there next year, God willing.

Second thing people do in their marketing from scarcity, rather than showing up in their full beauty, and sharing their authentic message, and being in integrity with who they are… I’m very open about being a God-centered person and believing in God, living in Israel and being Jewish. If that’s a problem for my listeners, I guess they’re not here.

But I don’t hide who I am. And, I don’t try to speak to the people who aren’t interested in listening to someone who has a God-centered viewpoint. That’s okay with me. There are many, many people in the world who have podcasts. And those folks are invited to go listen to someone else, or listen to all the people.

What a lot of people do in their marketing, is they talk to their worst clients. They try to convince, like, they’re in this convincing energy of trying to work with the people who are never going to work with them a day in their life.

The example that I love to use, is someone who is a plant-based nutritionist, or dietician, or health coach. Someone who really believes strongly and firmly in eating a vegan, or vegetarian, or plant-based diet. And they’re trying to convince all of the carnivores in the world that they should just come on over to this side of the fence, and just eat vegetables, and legumes, and chickpeas, and quinoa, for the rest of their life.

And those folks, over there, are like, “You guys should really come over here and have a steak with me. Let’s sit down for a hamburger, because this meat is really juicy and delicious.” Ne’er the twain shall meet.

Speak to the people who are looking for you and looking for your services. There are some people out there who might be curious about a plant-based diet… If you understand that metaphor and how you can apply it to your business. So, you can to actually help them, and educate them, and give them information about the benefits. But don’t try to convince the people who love meat, and are never going to give it up, that they should be giving it up.

You can always add more vegetables and legumes into your diet, right, but no convincing energy in your marketing; that’s coming from scarcity and that’s coming from lack. That’s coming from fear that if you speak to your people, you’re going to get the message wrong.

Which brings me to point number three, and that is what I call ‘perfectionizing’, trying to perfectionize the content in your marketing, and the messaging in your marketing. You can say what you do, and you could say whom you serve in 25 different ways, or in 50 different ways. Don’t spend hours and hours and hours reading over your content, and switching words, and trying to make it picture-perfect.

There are people in the world who want to work with you, today. But if you’re spending time behind your computer changing words, you know, if you’re going to change plant-based to vegan or something like that, like if you’re spending time trying to figure out exactly what’s the right word, the best way to phrase your sentences, you’re not serving anybody. Nobody can reach out to you. Nobody can feel your delicious, abundant energy, and be attracted to working with you.

So, write your content, create your podcasts, do your videos, and show up in the world and share who you are, today. The stage of your business today, with your people.

I’m going to leave you with my favorite metaphor for marketing. Because I really do believe that your marketing is being with your people. I want you to imagine that you are in a shopping mall. And, always, at the edge of the shopping mall, is the food court. Because people go shopping, and they get hungry, and probably happens to you too, right?

As you’re walking toward the food court, first of all, it’s going to smell. Like, there’s always like some greasy smells in the food court. I try to stay away from them, because I get repelled by them. But I don’t know what your situation is. But just imagine that there’s a pizza store, over there in the food court. And the pizza is just smelling so delicious; that melted cheese, the aroma wafting into the mall as you approach.

I must say that pizza smells really, really delicious, mouthwatering, and I’m attracted to it. Even if I’m in a food court, I don’t want to be eating pizza, I might notice. My brain might catch on that aroma and it might signal something and trigger something in my mind like; hmm, maybe I want to check out the pizza store, over there in the food court.

That, my friends, is marketing. It’s just letting people know you exist. Letting all the people in the world who love pizza, smell the delicious aroma of that melted cheese, maybe with some mushrooms on top, or onions, or olives, or peppers, or anchovies. Whatever you’d like to put on your pizza. But share your goodies with the world. Share your aromas and your fragrances, and all the deliciousness in the world, of who you are.

Of course, there going to be some people in the world who are gluten free, or they’re lactose intolerant. They never, ever, eat wheat and maybe they’re going to have a crustless pizza. But if you’re not serving that in your pizzeria, those are not your clients. There are people in the world who are only going to be carnivores and never eat the pizza; and that’s a beautiful thing.

You just show up behind your pizza counter, and you let all of your people know who you are, what you do, why your pizza, your brownies, your chocolate chip cookies, your coaching, your dance classes. Whatever it is that you do in the world, you show up and you let your people know who you are, what you do, what you stand for. And invite them into your world and into your business by just being your beautiful, delicious self.

Alright, my friends, that is what I have for you on today’s podcast, money, marketing, and mindset. Go out to the world. Share your goodies. Make some money. Serve more people. Have money, and build long-term wealth. Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to Mastering Money in Midlife. If you want more information on Debbie Sassen or the resources from the podcast visit MasteringMoneyinMidlife.com.