66: Why You’re Not Taking Action

You’re listening to the Mastering Money in Midlife podcast with Debbie Sassen, Episode 66.

Welcome to Mastering Money in Midlife, a podcast for midlife women in business to overcome financial anxiety and make more money without burning out or sacrificing their families. Join Certified Life and Money Coach Debbie Sassen, as she shares practical business strategies and mindset shifts that help you dissolve the money blocks that keep you stuck in a cycle of underearning and undersaving, sabotage the growth of your business, and prevent you from building the wealth that you desire.

Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the podcast. Today, we are going to talk about why you are not taking action. But before we dive into today’s topic, I want to let you know that the week of March 13, we will be doing Money School 2.0.

If you were with me in November, I had a four-day training, where we came together and learned all the things about money and business that you never learned in high school or college, because money is the last taboo. Most of our parents didn’t talk about it or teach us.

They certainly didn’t teach us how to be entrepreneurs, female entrepreneurs in particular, and how to show up, ask for a lot of money and feel good and solid and certain in your body and in your nervous system.

So many of our parents, and again, this is no fault of their own, they just weren’t taught about money either. Because money has been a taboo topic since forever, they didn’t teach us how to open up ourselves to receiving, having more, holding on to money, creating savings accounts and investment accounts, and building long-term wealth.

So, we’re going to dive into all things money in Money School; that’s going to be the week of March 13. And if you want to be on the list and be one of the first to know, make sure that you get on my mailing list, DebbieSassen.com/newsletter

It has been a valuable training, version 1.0, and we’re going to improve it and tweak it. And there’s going to be even more value at Money School 2.0. I look forward to seeing you the week of March 13.

Now, let us dive into today’s topic: Why you’re not taking action. I have seen this come up recently, in calls with my students in my Wired for Wealth group coaching program.

I think we might be able to say it’s due to the weather; it is freaking cold here in Israel today. There’s a storm; they even give the storm a name. It’s something that’s sort of new to the Middle East. But now we have a storm, Barbara, that is visiting us and pouring tons and tons and tons of water. Thank God, because we really needed it. Our country was very dry this winter.

It’s cold and stormy, and we’ve battening down the hatches and staying inside our homes. So, winter is a time when it’s less sunny, and people do have a tendency to get more depressed or have lower energy. I know for sure I do, and that’s why I make sure to get out three times a week and go to my personal trainer. To make sure that I’m moving my body because otherwise, I would just be a couch potato just sitting inside my house next to the heater all winter long. Got to move my body.

And so, really, that’s the first thing that I want to offer you. Are you getting enough physical exercise? Are you eating healthfully? It’s also something that happens in the winter when we’re not moving as much, which is that people tend to overeat, eat more carbs, and not nourish themselves, as well.

It’s so much easier in the summer when we have those delicious summer fruits. And in Israel, we pretty much go by the seasons; we do have some out-of-season fruits available and vegetables available. But our selections are pretty much going with the seasons. And there’s a lot of citrus fruits, which is lovely. But the delicious variety of nectarines and peaches and all those juicy fruits that come onto the scene in the spring and the summer, they’re just not available. And so, it might be a little bit harder for you to nourish your body.

I’m just going to throw that out there. I am not a health coach or a wellness coach, but I know that it affects me, and if it affects me, I’m sure there are other people who are affected by the weather and what they’re eating.

And also, sleeping. Make sure that you’re getting enough sleep. You might need more sleep in the winter because it’s darker for more hours of the day. And so, make sure that you’re taking care of the physical needs of your body. That’s number one.

The second reason, why you might not be taking any action, is that you’re just overwhelmed. And overwhelmed is a very broad brushstroke term for lots of things going on in your life. Lots of things going on in your business, and you just don’t know where to go first.

I’m going to refer you to last week’s podcast, Episode 65, where I spoke about how to be more productive in your business. I spoke about the concept of doing an attention audit. And I certainly know that as a mother of a large family, who is also growing a big business, there are a lot of plates spinning in my life and my business.

And so, when I do a brain dump, and I look at all of the things going on, then I’m able to sift through all of the, I’m going to call it overwhelm, for lack of a better word. Or, I can just call it ‘all the stuff’ if I want to be less eloquent. I can sort out the things that need to be on my to-do list for my life and the things that need to be on my to-do list for my business.

I can make sure to schedule them into my calendar accordingly. And some things I don’t even really need to do. So, we’re just going to delete those. And we’re going to put some things off until next month, or until the spring or the summer, because it’s not necessary for me to do them today.

And then, I just need to focus on the few things that do require my attention. Or, those which I want to give my attention to right now. Now that you know what you want to focus on, and you’re still not taking action, let’s talk about why that is not happening.

The first reason why is maybe you just don’t know how. Or, alternatively, you are telling yourself that you don’t know how. Let’s say that you want to post on social media, in order to let people know that you are a business coach like me, or maybe you’re the health coach, or maybe your parenting coach, or maybe you do copywriting.

And you’re telling yourself this story that you don’t know how. I want you to ask yourself the question, what do I know? What is clear to me? Because if you’re thinking of using social media, it could be a podcast, it could be a blog, and it could be going to a networking event. It could be all the things. That was the first one that popped up in my mind.

If you’re hanging out on social media, you have probably read a gazillion different social media posts. And if you pay attention for more than about two and a half seconds, that’s about all we give attention to when we’re on social media. I just want to put that out there, that that’s probably all people will be giving you, as well.

There is an endless variety of ways that people post on social media. Similarly, there is an endless number of ways that people write blog posts, that people record podcasts, and that people introduce themselves at networking meetings.

There are some ways that are better than others. But if you would ask yourself the question, what do I know? You might notice that people do it in so many different ways. Maybe there is not a formula, And I can show up as me. And really, when it comes to marketing and selling your business, selling yourself, selling your services, start where you are.

maybe you already have years of experience like I do, And so we’re not really bothered by this question; I don’t know how to do it today. But if you’re just getting started with something, just do it the simplest way: Take action.

People think that there is a perfect way of doing things. And when you’re looking for perfect, you’re not moving forward. And this is what I would like to offer you, is that there is no such thing as perfect. Only God is perfect.

And imperfect action is going to beat out no action every single time. If you’re not taking action, you are for sure losing time. So, just get with the program and go do it. Do something. Take the smallest step forward in your business, because there is for sure something that you know how to do.

If you don’t know how to do it, like really, really, really, if you’re honest with yourself, Google is your friend. You can find out a lot of information on Google. And if that still doesn’t work, then, of course, there are endless mentors and coaches and people out there. Friends that you can get to help you do the next thing that you want to do.

But make sure that it’s something that needs to be done, and just get going. Because I don’t want you to be losing time.

Second point, and that’s going back to perfectionism. If you start going down that rabbit hole of perfectionism… Maybe you’re writing social media posts; we’re going to go back there again. Or, it can be a blog post. Or, you’re recording a podcast.

If you try to tweak it over and over and over again… For a podcast, if you’re going to write yourself a script… I wrote the script for my first podcast and have never written a script again. I write myself a few bullet points, and if it’s not good enough, I just guess I’ve never going to know.

The feedback that I’m getting… I hope you’re with me, my lovely listeners; let me know. The feedback that I get is that people are being helped from a podcast. So, if that’s you, send me an email and tell me how much you’re being helped by my podcast because I love hearing those great words.

But again, if you’re going down that rabbit hole of perfectionism, it’s usually because you are afraid of something.

And that is point number three; you are afraid of failure. You’re afraid of criticism. You’re afraid that maybe people are going to judge you, they’re going to laugh at you, they’re going to push back from you. Or, if you send out an email to your email list, they might unsubscribe.

But here’s what I want you to know, is that we all “fail” in our business; we all make mistakes. And every opportunity that you take a step forward, is an opportunity that you’re either winning or you’re learning. Failure is really a concept that doesn’t exist.

It just means that this little, teeny tiny thing that I did today with my money, it just didn’t work as well as it could have. I’m going to learn from the experience. And then, I’m going to change up my process, or I’m going to tweak it going forward.

When it comes to those heavy negative emotions, like fear of judgment, criticism, or rejection, what I offer you to do is really drop into your body. And notice how those feelings feel inside of you. Notice the emotions that are vibrating in your nervous system.

Is it like a stuck thing in your stomach, the pit of your stomach? Do you feel some clenching in your throat? Or, maybe feel some frenetic energy, like your body is electric or kind of zitsing or on fire, or something like that?

Notice that whatever feeling you’re feeling or that you’re afraid of feeling, it’s only sensations in your body. And if you really pay attention to them, just sort of sit with them and notice what’s happening, you will also notice that within probably a minute, maybe five minutes at the very, very longest amount of time, but I don’t even think it takes that much time.

Whatever emotions you are afraid of experiencing, and then you’re resisting them and pushing them away, when you actually give them some of your attention, they release, they move through you. That’s how you process your emotions.

I want you to think about one of your children who’s just begging for your attention; mommy, mommy, mommy. And jumping up and down, and maybe pulling on you, or tapping you on the shoulder or something like that, that child is not going to go away until you give the child some attention.

So, give yourself a hug and some compassion. There’s something inside of you that is asking for your attention. And just like when you pay attention to your child, and you give them a hug, and you give them a kiss, and you listen to what they have to say. They probably won’t hang around for more than 10 or 15 minutes, if you’re actually super present with them and give them your attention.

Similarly, when you drop into your own body, and you give yourself attention, you can even ask your emotions, what are you trying to tell me? There might be a message there that they are scared of rejection. Or, they’re remembering something that happened when you were in high school, and the girls in your class made fun of you. Or, you were the one who was chosen last for the sports teams; that was me. I was always chosen last for the sports team.

And you know what? It doesn’t feel good. It feels really, really uncomfortable. It feels like not being good enough. The fear of rejection does come up. And you know what? We’ve all grown so much since then. I invite you to just give yourself a hug. Put your hands on your heart and just let yourself know that you’re there for you, and you’re creating a safe space.

Number four, this is the last point on why you’re not taking action. This is just general resistance. Some people might call it stuck. And if we dig a little deeper, we’re going to end up back at the emotions that I talked about in point number three. It’s the fear of rejection, criticism, judgment, or maybe betrayal, fear of failure.

But just like your kids, I’m going to go back to that metaphor, because, as a mom of eight, I love metaphors that involve children. Think of your child. That you have told your child once, twice, three times, maybe 10 times, I hope it doesn’t get to that, go to bed. That child is going to resist. Most kids, especially after a certain age, they don’t go to sleep without a little bit of fight. Ask me how I know.

And you know what? We don’t let our children’s resistance stop us from sending them to bed because they need their sleep. They don’t know it. And yes, we might have to sit with them and sing them songs and read them bedtime stories. It might take half an hour or 45 minutes.

I’m the mom that used to fall asleep in the bed next to them. Sometimes they would fall asleep, too. Sometimes they would go to daddy and tell daddy that mommy fell asleep in bed next to them. Nevertheless, we did not let our kids’ resistance stop us from putting them to bed. Because they need sleep.

What I want to offer you is that you don’t let your resistance to taking the next step in your business stop you. Invite your resistance to come along with you. Because just like sleep is good for children, taking the next step in your business is good for you.

And even more than that, it is good for the people that you are here to serve. Your people are waiting for you to show up. They want you to serve them. They want to pay you money. God has organized that you should be serving these people.

You’ve heard me say it before, my people are divinely contracted to work with me. When I remember that there is the One above who is organizing who works with whom, I’m going to make sure that I step up and get out there and record my podcasts, share my blogs, share my social media posts, share my training, and Money School 2.0 that is coming in the middle of March, because I have a job to do in the world. And that is to show up and serve my people.

I want you to remember, just the same, that you have a job to do, and that is to show up and serve your people. So, invite the resistance to come along with you because you have bigger things to do in the world. And that’s how you can ask for more money, make more money, and make a bigger impact in the world. You will be able to share more money and pay it forward and build long-term wealth for you and your family.

All right, my friends. That is what I have for you today. Go out there and take action. Love you and see you next week. Bye.

Thanks for listening to Mastering Money in Midlife. If you want more information on Debbie Sassen or the resources from the podcast, visit MasteringMoneyInMidlife.com.